Sunday, December 16, 2007
Christmas Joy
I'm sorry if it's getting a little redundant reading about how much fun Christmas is here. It's just that I can't get over it. I can't get over how the smallest of gifts can bring such joy to our friends here. Joy. That's the only word I can find to describe it. We were privileged to watch our friends experience this joy on Friday. We had a Christmas party with our hostel girls' Bible study. We made pancakes for dinner (because they're kind of fascinated with them. It was funny how sweet they thought they were and that was when they were eating them plain. :) We also watched Elf, because really, what is a Christmas party without that movie, and we ended the night by giving them some gifts. We burnt a few cd's for each of them of some of our favorite songs, and wrote them each a letter explaining why these songs are so special to us. It wasn't really a big gift, and it barely cost us anything, but you would have thought we had given them the most expensive gift in the whole world. I don't want to say much more because I feel like the pictures of this night say a lot more than I ever could. I know that many of you have sent gifts with Mom and Dave for many of our friends here. Enjoy this post and know that this is the type of pure joy that you are giving our friends. Thank you for your generosity. I love you all.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Ok, so that title of this post isn't exactly true. It's still 80 degrees here, and I went to the pool on Saturday and got a nice tan. But I am starting to get into the Christmas spirit. I've listened to some Christmas music, even though it just doesn't feel the same when the leaves are still on the trees outside, I sweat everytime I walk to school, and there is no sign of snow. We listened to "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" while we were making pies for Thanksgiving, and it just seemed a little odd. I got super excited yesterday when I found some Christmas lights on display in a store, until Desarae pointed out that they weren't regular bulbs but instead they were little colored flowers. Bummer. But regardless of all the differences, I'm getting more and more excited about celebrating Christmas, Uganda style, this year.
My time in Uganda has changed my perspective on most things and Christmas is no different. Growing up the most exciting part of Christmas was Santa and the presents that he would bring. I remember not being able to sleep the night before because I couldn't wait to see what new things I was going to get the next day. The older I got, and as I went off to college, Christmas became important because of the people I would be with rather than the gifts I would receive. I always looked forward to a break from school, and time with all of my family, as Christmas is one of the few times in the year that all of my brothers and sisters are together.
Now I find myself in a culture where people barely have enough money to survive, let alone shower their loved ones with gifts at this time of year. I'm also going to be away from the majority of the people I love, but I'm so blessed to be looking forward to the arrival of Mom and Dave on Christmas Eve. Talk about an awesome Christmas present! Christmas will definitely be different this year, but I am rejoicing in those differences. Instead of making my own wish list this year, I'm having a blast dreaming with Desarae about all the gifts we could give our friends here. Many of these people have never been given a gift in their life, or very few, and I'm excited about the opportunity to love them in this way. Instead of mourning that more of my family won't be here, I'm thankful for those that are coming, and I'm enjoying making my own Christmas traditions with my new family here.
Today we got to experience the pleasure of giving a small gift to some of our dear friends here. It was our last Bible study at Bishop Stuart University before all of the students go home for the break. So we decided to whip up a few surprises for the ladies, including a few loaves of banana bread that we took and shared with them. The best part of the day was that we had our friend and language teacher Doreen translate an entire paragraph into runyonkole so we could thank them for their love and friendship in their local language. I videoed their reaction and I wish you could all see it. They were clapping, cheering, and laughing of course at our awful attempts to pronounce the words correctly, but their faces were so full of joy. They loved that we had taken the time to learn that, and I think it was the greatest gift we could have given them.
This Christmas I'm choosing to focus on the many good gifts in my life that God has blessed me with instead of grieving that Christmas won't be the same as I'm used to. This Christmas instead of wondering what gifts I'll get, I'm choosing to wonder how many gifts I can give to my friends here to bless their holiday. This Christmas I'm going to watch "Elf" with some of my new friends here, so that I can share the joy that Will Ferrell brings to all, rather than wishing I was back at Harding watching it in my dorm room with my best friends. This Christmas I'm thanking God for the family that I miss in America and the family that I'm growing to love and dreading leaving here in Uganda. This Christmas I'm just so thankful for the life God has given me, and the ways he continues to be merciful and gracious to his daughter.
My time in Uganda has changed my perspective on most things and Christmas is no different. Growing up the most exciting part of Christmas was Santa and the presents that he would bring. I remember not being able to sleep the night before because I couldn't wait to see what new things I was going to get the next day. The older I got, and as I went off to college, Christmas became important because of the people I would be with rather than the gifts I would receive. I always looked forward to a break from school, and time with all of my family, as Christmas is one of the few times in the year that all of my brothers and sisters are together.
Now I find myself in a culture where people barely have enough money to survive, let alone shower their loved ones with gifts at this time of year. I'm also going to be away from the majority of the people I love, but I'm so blessed to be looking forward to the arrival of Mom and Dave on Christmas Eve. Talk about an awesome Christmas present! Christmas will definitely be different this year, but I am rejoicing in those differences. Instead of making my own wish list this year, I'm having a blast dreaming with Desarae about all the gifts we could give our friends here. Many of these people have never been given a gift in their life, or very few, and I'm excited about the opportunity to love them in this way. Instead of mourning that more of my family won't be here, I'm thankful for those that are coming, and I'm enjoying making my own Christmas traditions with my new family here.
Today we got to experience the pleasure of giving a small gift to some of our dear friends here. It was our last Bible study at Bishop Stuart University before all of the students go home for the break. So we decided to whip up a few surprises for the ladies, including a few loaves of banana bread that we took and shared with them. The best part of the day was that we had our friend and language teacher Doreen translate an entire paragraph into runyonkole so we could thank them for their love and friendship in their local language. I videoed their reaction and I wish you could all see it. They were clapping, cheering, and laughing of course at our awful attempts to pronounce the words correctly, but their faces were so full of joy. They loved that we had taken the time to learn that, and I think it was the greatest gift we could have given them.
This Christmas I'm choosing to focus on the many good gifts in my life that God has blessed me with instead of grieving that Christmas won't be the same as I'm used to. This Christmas instead of wondering what gifts I'll get, I'm choosing to wonder how many gifts I can give to my friends here to bless their holiday. This Christmas I'm going to watch "Elf" with some of my new friends here, so that I can share the joy that Will Ferrell brings to all, rather than wishing I was back at Harding watching it in my dorm room with my best friends. This Christmas I'm thanking God for the family that I miss in America and the family that I'm growing to love and dreading leaving here in Uganda. This Christmas I'm just so thankful for the life God has given me, and the ways he continues to be merciful and gracious to his daughter.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Never assume anything
One would think that after six months of living in this culture, I would be used to never really being sure about anything. I've finally started preparing something each week before the Bishop Stuart Bible study because it's a given that I'm going to be expected to share something. I've gotten used to girls looking at pictures in the apartment and either commenting on how I used to be fatter or how I'm a lot prettier in America than here. I've even gotten used to the occasional marriage proposal from random men on the street and perfected my answer of rejection. Basically I've come to expect the unexpected, and laugh through the awkward situations....or at least I thought I had. Tonight was a whole different story.
On Thursdays we go to a joint care group/Bible study with our hostel and the Golf Course Hostel next door. I have to confess that I don't always look forward to this care group simply because it starts at 9:30 (by African time, that means people are usually there by 10), and it usually doesn't wrap up until 11:30 or later. It's a fun group of girls, but I'm kind of an old person and I get tired when I stay up that late. I know, it's sad. I also don't feel as comfortable around these girls because the majority of them live next door so I only see them once a week. So I enjoy it, but I definitely enjoy our hostel Bible study more because I know those girls better and feel completely comfortable around them.
Tonight was the last care group before the girls go home for Christmas so we had a gift exchange. As we were getting started, Florence, who is one of the funniest people I've ever met, was talking about how tonight was going to be a special change for this care group. I naively sat there and figured she was talking about the gift exchange because we hadn't done that before and it was new. But then to my surprise, this was the next sentence out of her mouth. "Yes, it's a change tonight because Betsy is going to be leading our praise and worship this evening." Picture my jaw on the floor and a serious case of the red face. I immediately stuttered through some excuse about how we didn't know the same songs, blah blah blah. For those of you who don't know, I love to sing, but I don't exactly love my voice. I just wasn't blessed with the gift of a beautiful singing voice, and I can sometimes be a tad self-conscious about this. I also hate to be the focus and center of attention. So basically this wasn't shaping up to be my favorite Ugandan experience so far.
Long story short, it turned out ok. Desarae is a good friend, and after composing herself and getting some control of her hysterical laughter at the announcement that I was the worship leader, she helped me think of a few songs, and we plowed through it together. So I conquered a small fear of singing in front of others, went way outside my comfort zone, was completely caught off guard, learned the lesson AGAIN to never assume anything here, and I think I pulled it all off without my face turning too bright red. It was a success.
The gift exchange was also a success. I was really thankful to have drawn my friend Rachel's name. She is probably our closest friend here, and I knew exactly what I wanted to give her. She is a huge Christian music fan, so I burnt her a cd of some of my favorite songs. Her face lit up when I gave it to her, and I could tell she was ready to get out of there and go listen to it. It's amazing how such a small gift can mean the world to our friends here. It makes me excited for Christmas.
The girls here have what they call an "escort ministry," that takes place after care group. Basically it's just a funny name for walking each other back to the hostel and making sure they get home safely. Our church here just received 1,000 Bibles from a group in Ft. Worth, and when I made the announcement that anyone could come to our room for a new Bible, the escorting ministry became much more popular. In fact, every single girl who was at care group escorted us home. They all loved getting to see our apartment, and they really loved getting a new Bible.
Tonight was a great night. There were several moments of just laughing at the hilarious things that I'm experiencing daily mixed in with continual amazement at the people that I'm building relationships with. I could go on and on about the testimonies shared tonight, but I feel like this has gotten long enough. I'll leave you with a picture of me with all the girls and their new Bibles. Florence, the crazy one who spontaneously decided I would lead worship, is the one striking a pose in the front. I told you she was funny.
On Thursdays we go to a joint care group/Bible study with our hostel and the Golf Course Hostel next door. I have to confess that I don't always look forward to this care group simply because it starts at 9:30 (by African time, that means people are usually there by 10), and it usually doesn't wrap up until 11:30 or later. It's a fun group of girls, but I'm kind of an old person and I get tired when I stay up that late. I know, it's sad. I also don't feel as comfortable around these girls because the majority of them live next door so I only see them once a week. So I enjoy it, but I definitely enjoy our hostel Bible study more because I know those girls better and feel completely comfortable around them.
Tonight was the last care group before the girls go home for Christmas so we had a gift exchange. As we were getting started, Florence, who is one of the funniest people I've ever met, was talking about how tonight was going to be a special change for this care group. I naively sat there and figured she was talking about the gift exchange because we hadn't done that before and it was new. But then to my surprise, this was the next sentence out of her mouth. "Yes, it's a change tonight because Betsy is going to be leading our praise and worship this evening." Picture my jaw on the floor and a serious case of the red face. I immediately stuttered through some excuse about how we didn't know the same songs, blah blah blah. For those of you who don't know, I love to sing, but I don't exactly love my voice. I just wasn't blessed with the gift of a beautiful singing voice, and I can sometimes be a tad self-conscious about this. I also hate to be the focus and center of attention. So basically this wasn't shaping up to be my favorite Ugandan experience so far.
Long story short, it turned out ok. Desarae is a good friend, and after composing herself and getting some control of her hysterical laughter at the announcement that I was the worship leader, she helped me think of a few songs, and we plowed through it together. So I conquered a small fear of singing in front of others, went way outside my comfort zone, was completely caught off guard, learned the lesson AGAIN to never assume anything here, and I think I pulled it all off without my face turning too bright red. It was a success.
The gift exchange was also a success. I was really thankful to have drawn my friend Rachel's name. She is probably our closest friend here, and I knew exactly what I wanted to give her. She is a huge Christian music fan, so I burnt her a cd of some of my favorite songs. Her face lit up when I gave it to her, and I could tell she was ready to get out of there and go listen to it. It's amazing how such a small gift can mean the world to our friends here. It makes me excited for Christmas.
The girls here have what they call an "escort ministry," that takes place after care group. Basically it's just a funny name for walking each other back to the hostel and making sure they get home safely. Our church here just received 1,000 Bibles from a group in Ft. Worth, and when I made the announcement that anyone could come to our room for a new Bible, the escorting ministry became much more popular. In fact, every single girl who was at care group escorted us home. They all loved getting to see our apartment, and they really loved getting a new Bible.
Tonight was a great night. There were several moments of just laughing at the hilarious things that I'm experiencing daily mixed in with continual amazement at the people that I'm building relationships with. I could go on and on about the testimonies shared tonight, but I feel like this has gotten long enough. I'll leave you with a picture of me with all the girls and their new Bibles. Florence, the crazy one who spontaneously decided I would lead worship, is the one striking a pose in the front. I told you she was funny.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Halfway and Thankful
So today marks the exact halfway point of my time here in Uganda. Crazy, I know. I can hardly believe that I've been here for 5 1/2 months, and it's even harder to believe that I'll be home in less than six. I think it's a pretty awesome coincidence that the midpoint of this adventure falls on Thanksgiving Day. Thinking back on the past few months of my life and looking forward to the rest of this year makes me realize just how much I have to be thankful for.
I'm thankful that God brought me to Africa to teach me some things that I just wasn't quite getting in America. I'm thankful that He gave me a partner in ministry and one of the best friends I could ever ask for to walk this journey with me. I'm thankful for the many friends back in the states who faithfully read this thing, email encouragement, and most importantly, pray for me. I'm thankful that I see God in the good days in Uganda, and even in the bad days.
I'm thankful for the mission team that I am privileged to be a part of. I'm thankful for the new friends that I have made here, not only with the missionaries, but also with the Ugandans. I'm thankful that I live in an incredibly fun hostel where people drop by our apartment all the time. I'm even thankful that we had to pause our movie for 30 minutes tonight while we had five unexpected visitors. I'll miss that when I come home in May. I'm thankful to be able to see faces light up when we give our friends new Bibles that were just sent to us and hear knocks at the door of people wanting more. I'm thankful for the hostel Bible study we have every Wednesday and the way that those girls never cease to amaze me and change me. I'm thankful for friends like Rachel and Fiona who make me laugh so hard that I forget I'm living in an underdeveloped country thousands of miles away from everything that is comfortable.
I'm thankful for times of being stretched and grown. I'm thankful for the chance to go the village today (even if it was a little surreal eating matooke, g-nut sauce and kasava root for Thanksgiving). I'm thankful for how comfortable and at home I feel in a place where all of the comforts I'm used to are so far away. I'm thankful that I'm absolutely in love with chapati and chai...can you imagine how awful this year would be if I didn't love the food? I'm also thankful that on Saturday I will get to enjoy a Thanksgiving feast with turkey, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and pumpkin pie. I'm thankful that Gigi will be here tomorrow to help these two amateurs make the four pies that we're in charge of bringing. :) I'm thankful that I look out my windows to see one of the most beautiful views in the world, and I get to go running by mountains everyday. I'm thankful that I feel completely alive and at peace knowing that I am where God wants me to be right now.
I'm thankful that Mom and Dave are coming to visit in 32 days!! I'm thankful that two days after they leave, Jessica will be here! I'm thankful that I got to talk to all of my family today, minus Laura and Picker who are bums and didn't answer their phones. :) I'm thankful that when I get home in May I'll have a new niece and new nephew waiting for me, plus two incredibly beautiful girls who will have grown so much. I'm thankful that God blessed me with a family who never questioned, but only supported my decision to move to Uganda for a year.
I hope that you didn't read the title of this post and think that I am thankful because I am halfway done with this year. That couldn't be further from the truth. Instead, I am thankful that I still have the second half of this year left. Don't get me wrong...I miss my friends and family so much and May 10 will be a happy day to be back in the states. But this journey is not finished. There is so much of the adventure still left to live, and I'm convinced that there is so much more that God is waiting to teach me. Thanks for walking the first half of this year with me. I don't know about you, but I'm excited to see what's in store for the next six months. I'm thankful for all of you, and I hope you all have an incredible Thanksgiving.
I'm thankful that God brought me to Africa to teach me some things that I just wasn't quite getting in America. I'm thankful that He gave me a partner in ministry and one of the best friends I could ever ask for to walk this journey with me. I'm thankful for the many friends back in the states who faithfully read this thing, email encouragement, and most importantly, pray for me. I'm thankful that I see God in the good days in Uganda, and even in the bad days.
I'm thankful for the mission team that I am privileged to be a part of. I'm thankful for the new friends that I have made here, not only with the missionaries, but also with the Ugandans. I'm thankful that I live in an incredibly fun hostel where people drop by our apartment all the time. I'm even thankful that we had to pause our movie for 30 minutes tonight while we had five unexpected visitors. I'll miss that when I come home in May. I'm thankful to be able to see faces light up when we give our friends new Bibles that were just sent to us and hear knocks at the door of people wanting more. I'm thankful for the hostel Bible study we have every Wednesday and the way that those girls never cease to amaze me and change me. I'm thankful for friends like Rachel and Fiona who make me laugh so hard that I forget I'm living in an underdeveloped country thousands of miles away from everything that is comfortable.
I'm thankful for times of being stretched and grown. I'm thankful for the chance to go the village today (even if it was a little surreal eating matooke, g-nut sauce and kasava root for Thanksgiving). I'm thankful for how comfortable and at home I feel in a place where all of the comforts I'm used to are so far away. I'm thankful that I'm absolutely in love with chapati and chai...can you imagine how awful this year would be if I didn't love the food? I'm also thankful that on Saturday I will get to enjoy a Thanksgiving feast with turkey, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and pumpkin pie. I'm thankful that Gigi will be here tomorrow to help these two amateurs make the four pies that we're in charge of bringing. :) I'm thankful that I look out my windows to see one of the most beautiful views in the world, and I get to go running by mountains everyday. I'm thankful that I feel completely alive and at peace knowing that I am where God wants me to be right now.
I'm thankful that Mom and Dave are coming to visit in 32 days!! I'm thankful that two days after they leave, Jessica will be here! I'm thankful that I got to talk to all of my family today, minus Laura and Picker who are bums and didn't answer their phones. :) I'm thankful that when I get home in May I'll have a new niece and new nephew waiting for me, plus two incredibly beautiful girls who will have grown so much. I'm thankful that God blessed me with a family who never questioned, but only supported my decision to move to Uganda for a year.
I hope that you didn't read the title of this post and think that I am thankful because I am halfway done with this year. That couldn't be further from the truth. Instead, I am thankful that I still have the second half of this year left. Don't get me wrong...I miss my friends and family so much and May 10 will be a happy day to be back in the states. But this journey is not finished. There is so much of the adventure still left to live, and I'm convinced that there is so much more that God is waiting to teach me. Thanks for walking the first half of this year with me. I don't know about you, but I'm excited to see what's in store for the next six months. I'm thankful for all of you, and I hope you all have an incredible Thanksgiving.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Shouting the Gospel with My Life
One of the things I love about my life here in Mbarara is that I have a lot more free time to read, which is something I love to do, but had very little time for in the midst of all the reading I did for my classes in college. I'm not sure why, but somehow I could never fit in reading for pleasure when I was bogged down with reading my textbooks, a biography of some historical figure here and there, and of course the random other books that professors love to assign. So I've really loved being able to read so many different books while I've been here. I've fallen into the trap of being in the middle of 3 or 4 different books at a time, but thankfully right now I'm able to concentrate on reading one of my favorite books in the world.
If you haven't read The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne, then please stop reading my weak attempts at writing, and go read his incredibly powerful book. I read it for the first time last summer, and it only made me more passionate about mission work than I already was, and I'm convinced this book had a lot to do with me actually stepping out and committing to come to Uganda. It's an inspiring book, and it makes me want to be so much more than I am right now. It's for sure not an easy read, only because you can't walk away from this book without being challenged to make some necessary, but incredibly difficult changes in your life. I know that I was challenged and convicted of my own lukewarm Christianity last summer when reading it, and again now as I'm reading it again. This guy is onto a real kind of Christianity, and this books makes me excited about living more radically for God. Ok, I'll stop the free advertisement for the book and get on with my thoughts, but seriously, I recommend checking this one out.
Something happened yesterday that kind of goes along with the part of the book that I've been reading, and it's got me thinking a lot about my life and the way that I live out my faith. In James 2, we're told that Abraham's actions made his faith complete. Our faith in incomplete unless there are actions that accompany it, and this is something that I need to be reminded of daily. Yesterday, my daily reminder came by way of a random Ugandan that we ran into in town. D-rae and I were waiting outside of Gigi's restaurant to talk to her, when this young woman walked up to us. Instead of the usual Ugandan greeting of "How are you?" this woman just looked at us and said "Praise God." She then turned and walked off. This obviously caught Des and I a little off guard, and as she walked away I joked that the way we sat there on the curb must have just showed our love for God and our commitment to follow him.
Unfortunately, all too often in my life, that is all that is...a joke. People usually can't tell just from interacting with me that I'm a Christian. They don't see the noticeable difference in my life that I am called to have as a follower of Christ. They don't see it because it's not there. Over the years I have become way too comfortable with being comfortable, and way too fearful of being different. I've become satisfied with life as an ordinary Christian rather than thirsting for a life as one who is radically in love with God. I've spent way too much time conforming to this world, all the while fighting the transformation in my life that God wants and desires to give me.
In his book, Claiborne uses the old quote "Preach the gospel always. And when necessary use words," under a heading entitled Shouting the Gospel with Our Lives. This quote inspires me and reminds me of just how rarely I preach the gospel by the way I live. I think back to when I was in high school. I wonder how many of my classmates heard me proclaim my faith at the weekly Fellowship of Christian Athletes meeting, but questioned if those were empty words when watching me fail to love my neighbors in school everyday, one of the basic principles of the gospel that I preached. People have a hard time understanding God because they have a hard time understanding the hypocrisy of God's people. I cringe at the times I've been a stumbling block to those around me simply because my actions didn't match up to my so-called faith.
What a beautiful thought that the primary way of sharing the gospel should be with my life rather than with my lips. My faith can be most real and most effective by what I do rather than what I say (or write). I want my life to shout the gospel. I want to run into strangers on the street and after spending a few minutes together, have them not only questioning what is different about my life, but finding themselves so attracted to it that they can't help but want to find out more. We are called to be different, and I pray that the difference in my life is evident to everyone that I meet. Jesus lives in me, and I want others to see him, instead of me.
If you haven't read The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne, then please stop reading my weak attempts at writing, and go read his incredibly powerful book. I read it for the first time last summer, and it only made me more passionate about mission work than I already was, and I'm convinced this book had a lot to do with me actually stepping out and committing to come to Uganda. It's an inspiring book, and it makes me want to be so much more than I am right now. It's for sure not an easy read, only because you can't walk away from this book without being challenged to make some necessary, but incredibly difficult changes in your life. I know that I was challenged and convicted of my own lukewarm Christianity last summer when reading it, and again now as I'm reading it again. This guy is onto a real kind of Christianity, and this books makes me excited about living more radically for God. Ok, I'll stop the free advertisement for the book and get on with my thoughts, but seriously, I recommend checking this one out.
Something happened yesterday that kind of goes along with the part of the book that I've been reading, and it's got me thinking a lot about my life and the way that I live out my faith. In James 2, we're told that Abraham's actions made his faith complete. Our faith in incomplete unless there are actions that accompany it, and this is something that I need to be reminded of daily. Yesterday, my daily reminder came by way of a random Ugandan that we ran into in town. D-rae and I were waiting outside of Gigi's restaurant to talk to her, when this young woman walked up to us. Instead of the usual Ugandan greeting of "How are you?" this woman just looked at us and said "Praise God." She then turned and walked off. This obviously caught Des and I a little off guard, and as she walked away I joked that the way we sat there on the curb must have just showed our love for God and our commitment to follow him.
Unfortunately, all too often in my life, that is all that is...a joke. People usually can't tell just from interacting with me that I'm a Christian. They don't see the noticeable difference in my life that I am called to have as a follower of Christ. They don't see it because it's not there. Over the years I have become way too comfortable with being comfortable, and way too fearful of being different. I've become satisfied with life as an ordinary Christian rather than thirsting for a life as one who is radically in love with God. I've spent way too much time conforming to this world, all the while fighting the transformation in my life that God wants and desires to give me.
In his book, Claiborne uses the old quote "Preach the gospel always. And when necessary use words," under a heading entitled Shouting the Gospel with Our Lives. This quote inspires me and reminds me of just how rarely I preach the gospel by the way I live. I think back to when I was in high school. I wonder how many of my classmates heard me proclaim my faith at the weekly Fellowship of Christian Athletes meeting, but questioned if those were empty words when watching me fail to love my neighbors in school everyday, one of the basic principles of the gospel that I preached. People have a hard time understanding God because they have a hard time understanding the hypocrisy of God's people. I cringe at the times I've been a stumbling block to those around me simply because my actions didn't match up to my so-called faith.
What a beautiful thought that the primary way of sharing the gospel should be with my life rather than with my lips. My faith can be most real and most effective by what I do rather than what I say (or write). I want my life to shout the gospel. I want to run into strangers on the street and after spending a few minutes together, have them not only questioning what is different about my life, but finding themselves so attracted to it that they can't help but want to find out more. We are called to be different, and I pray that the difference in my life is evident to everyone that I meet. Jesus lives in me, and I want others to see him, instead of me.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Birthdays, Ballerinas, and Beaver Fever
It has been quite the eventful week here in Mbarara. Desarae turned 23. We celebrated Halloween, Ugandan style, and we've had a special visitor with us here in Beco all week. I'll start with the birthday.
Celebrating Desarae's birthday was really fun and really challenging at the same time. It's hard to plan anything even close to a surprise when you're with that person 24 hours a day. I finally just had to tell her I was leaving for a few hours, and she wasn't allowed to ask why. That was fun because D-rae is a curious little friend, and really hates not knowing what is going on. Her birthday started off a little differently than I had planned because I was sick (more on that later) and unable to do a few of the things I had planned. So poor birthday girl had to teach by herself while I stayed home and tried to get better. We actually spent most of her birthday laying around, napping to make up from the lack of sleep we'd been getting, and not doing much of anything. That night I had planned a little surprise party for her at Agip Motel in town, but I pretty much had to drag her (and me) there because neither of us felt up to doing anything. But thankfully we went and enjoyed the party with the rest of our team. During football season, one NFL game is taped and replayed on Tuesday nights at Agip so we watched football and had a football themed party. Here is a picture of Desarae wearing her birthday hat/helmet, posing like the Heisman trophy, and holding her brownies. And no, I didn't really think that Des was turning 24. I know it looks like that on the cake, but I actually did that on purpose just because I thought it would be funny. Turns out it was, especially when Emily Glisson, who is the queen of throwing really cute, themed parties, was watching in horror/amazement as I tried to make the icing look as funny as possible.
The next day was Halloween and we had one of the best Halloween celebrations I've ever been a part of. We decided to have a progressive dinner, starting with appetizers at our apartment, salad at the Gage's, and dinner and dessert at the Glisson's. The kids showed up at our door at 6:00 in their costumes, yelling trick or treat (I think our neighbors were slightly confused at this point). We had a gladiator, an Indian, a princess, a ballerina, and one cute little chicken. Of course, Desarae and I decided to get in on the fun at dress up as well, which is really hard with our limited resources. So we wrapped Des up in cling wrap, me in aluminum foil, and went as leftovers. It was fun, but amazingly hot, so the costumes only lasted long enough for a few pictures and laughs. I think the highlight of the night might have been scaring Emily with a fake, but very real looking cockroach 4 different times (great birthday gift). We hid it in her cup, in between a few chips (my personal favorite) and Scott even threw it from across the table back into her drink when she wasn't looking. It was hilarious, and we were all crying from laughing so hard. Nights like last night really make me thankful for the incredible team that I'm a part of. They challenge me, love me, support me, and make me laugh. They have become some really great friends, and I thank God for allowing our paths to cross for this year.
We've also had a very special visitor for all of the festivities this week. His name is giardia lamblia, and he is a parasitic disease that loves to camp out in our small intestines. We think we might have drank some bad water in the village on Saturday, and as a result, we've had our worst case of giardia yet. D-rae got it first, on Sunday, but being the great friend and roommate that she is, she passed it onto me because we love to share everything here...even sickness. We've both been up all night at least once this week, and we're having trouble getting rid of it this time. We bought our second dose of medicine today (for $3...Uganda is incredible) and hopefully that will do the trick. Desarae has done a little research on this little disease, and she found out today that it is also called Beaver Fever because it tends to be prevalent in artificial lakes that are made by beaver dams. So there's a free little fun tidbit for you today. Just to let you know, Beaver Fever is awful and you should avoid it all costs. Don't say I didn't warn you.
So it's been a really fun and really full week. Keep us in your prayers as we're trying to get better so we can keep up with our schedules. We've had to cancel several things this week, and we hate doing it, but it's hard to plan to go to the village when you know you're going to be needing a bathroom every 10 minutes. I know this is kind of a pointless post, but I really wanted to share some of these pictures with you guys. Thanks for always reading this thing and wanting to keep up with my journey. It means the world to me.
Celebrating Desarae's birthday was really fun and really challenging at the same time. It's hard to plan anything even close to a surprise when you're with that person 24 hours a day. I finally just had to tell her I was leaving for a few hours, and she wasn't allowed to ask why. That was fun because D-rae is a curious little friend, and really hates not knowing what is going on. Her birthday started off a little differently than I had planned because I was sick (more on that later) and unable to do a few of the things I had planned. So poor birthday girl had to teach by herself while I stayed home and tried to get better. We actually spent most of her birthday laying around, napping to make up from the lack of sleep we'd been getting, and not doing much of anything. That night I had planned a little surprise party for her at Agip Motel in town, but I pretty much had to drag her (and me) there because neither of us felt up to doing anything. But thankfully we went and enjoyed the party with the rest of our team. During football season, one NFL game is taped and replayed on Tuesday nights at Agip so we watched football and had a football themed party. Here is a picture of Desarae wearing her birthday hat/helmet, posing like the Heisman trophy, and holding her brownies. And no, I didn't really think that Des was turning 24. I know it looks like that on the cake, but I actually did that on purpose just because I thought it would be funny. Turns out it was, especially when Emily Glisson, who is the queen of throwing really cute, themed parties, was watching in horror/amazement as I tried to make the icing look as funny as possible.
The next day was Halloween and we had one of the best Halloween celebrations I've ever been a part of. We decided to have a progressive dinner, starting with appetizers at our apartment, salad at the Gage's, and dinner and dessert at the Glisson's. The kids showed up at our door at 6:00 in their costumes, yelling trick or treat (I think our neighbors were slightly confused at this point). We had a gladiator, an Indian, a princess, a ballerina, and one cute little chicken. Of course, Desarae and I decided to get in on the fun at dress up as well, which is really hard with our limited resources. So we wrapped Des up in cling wrap, me in aluminum foil, and went as leftovers. It was fun, but amazingly hot, so the costumes only lasted long enough for a few pictures and laughs. I think the highlight of the night might have been scaring Emily with a fake, but very real looking cockroach 4 different times (great birthday gift). We hid it in her cup, in between a few chips (my personal favorite) and Scott even threw it from across the table back into her drink when she wasn't looking. It was hilarious, and we were all crying from laughing so hard. Nights like last night really make me thankful for the incredible team that I'm a part of. They challenge me, love me, support me, and make me laugh. They have become some really great friends, and I thank God for allowing our paths to cross for this year.
We've also had a very special visitor for all of the festivities this week. His name is giardia lamblia, and he is a parasitic disease that loves to camp out in our small intestines. We think we might have drank some bad water in the village on Saturday, and as a result, we've had our worst case of giardia yet. D-rae got it first, on Sunday, but being the great friend and roommate that she is, she passed it onto me because we love to share everything here...even sickness. We've both been up all night at least once this week, and we're having trouble getting rid of it this time. We bought our second dose of medicine today (for $3...Uganda is incredible) and hopefully that will do the trick. Desarae has done a little research on this little disease, and she found out today that it is also called Beaver Fever because it tends to be prevalent in artificial lakes that are made by beaver dams. So there's a free little fun tidbit for you today. Just to let you know, Beaver Fever is awful and you should avoid it all costs. Don't say I didn't warn you.
So it's been a really fun and really full week. Keep us in your prayers as we're trying to get better so we can keep up with our schedules. We've had to cancel several things this week, and we hate doing it, but it's hard to plan to go to the village when you know you're going to be needing a bathroom every 10 minutes. I know this is kind of a pointless post, but I really wanted to share some of these pictures with you guys. Thanks for always reading this thing and wanting to keep up with my journey. It means the world to me.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
The Newest Addition to the Family
So most of you probably saw the title of this post and immediately assumed that I'm dedicating a post to my adorable new nephew Caleb. I know you're shocked, but this post is actually not about him (Stacy...don't be offended). Now while he is definitely worth writing about, I'm actually talking about the newest addition to my Ugandan family. Let me introduce to you, Goretti, or Gigi for those of us who still struggle to roll the r's here like you're supposed to.
All of the missionaries here have workers that either do yard work for them or help with some of the cooking. Most foods have to be made completely from scratch here, which tends to make things more complicated and time consuming in the kitchen. For example, let's say you're craving some chips and salsa? Well, that craving is going to wait a few hours while you make the chips....from scratch. Then you have to whip up the salsa from scratch as well. Yeah, let's just say that we don't eat those a lot. Desarae and I are not exactly what you would call skilled in the kitchen, but I have to say that we've done pretty well for ourselves so far. We're definitely not wasting away to nothing over here. But when the opportunity arose for us to hire Gigi, we jumped at it.
Gigi has been a worker for the Fouts' for the past nine years. She became really close to them and is just another member of their family. We've gotten to know Gigi really well over the past few months from spending so much time at their house, and we've come to love her a lot. Not only is she one of the greatest cooks in the world (the greatest according to the Fouts' kids), but she is an incredible woman. She makes us laugh a ton, and she's really become a close friend in our time here.
Gigi owns a hotel in town, but the business is pretty slow. She's kind of lost and without her family now that the Fouts' are gone, plus she has taken a big cut in pay since she's no longer working for them. Des and I don't necessarily need a worker, but we saw this as a great opportunity to help a friend, and be blessed even more by having her around our apartment. We know that she could use the financial help, but even more, she could use the companionship.
So as of last week, Gigi is now working for us. She comes two days a week to make some staple foods for us, and maybe even some posho chips and salsa when we're having one of those cravings. Gigi is such a blessing to us, and I couldn't be more excited about the newest member of Beco Hostel. I just hope I don't gain too much weight as a result.
All of the missionaries here have workers that either do yard work for them or help with some of the cooking. Most foods have to be made completely from scratch here, which tends to make things more complicated and time consuming in the kitchen. For example, let's say you're craving some chips and salsa? Well, that craving is going to wait a few hours while you make the chips....from scratch. Then you have to whip up the salsa from scratch as well. Yeah, let's just say that we don't eat those a lot. Desarae and I are not exactly what you would call skilled in the kitchen, but I have to say that we've done pretty well for ourselves so far. We're definitely not wasting away to nothing over here. But when the opportunity arose for us to hire Gigi, we jumped at it.
Gigi has been a worker for the Fouts' for the past nine years. She became really close to them and is just another member of their family. We've gotten to know Gigi really well over the past few months from spending so much time at their house, and we've come to love her a lot. Not only is she one of the greatest cooks in the world (the greatest according to the Fouts' kids), but she is an incredible woman. She makes us laugh a ton, and she's really become a close friend in our time here.
Gigi owns a hotel in town, but the business is pretty slow. She's kind of lost and without her family now that the Fouts' are gone, plus she has taken a big cut in pay since she's no longer working for them. Des and I don't necessarily need a worker, but we saw this as a great opportunity to help a friend, and be blessed even more by having her around our apartment. We know that she could use the financial help, but even more, she could use the companionship.
So as of last week, Gigi is now working for us. She comes two days a week to make some staple foods for us, and maybe even some posho chips and salsa when we're having one of those cravings. Gigi is such a blessing to us, and I couldn't be more excited about the newest member of Beco Hostel. I just hope I don't gain too much weight as a result.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Purpose in Pain
Life in Uganda is so unpredictable. Today our friend Doreen invited us to a Bible study at the university that she goes to. She called yesterday to tell us about it, and in between the static of the phone and her accented English, I hung up the phone unsure of whether we were leading the study or just guests. Judging by our past awkward situations that we've had here, which of those do you think she was expecting? Yes, you've probably guessed right. We showed up to find out that she was expecting us to share something. Awesome. Nothing like being completely unprepared and on the spot. Thankfully Doreen shared her testimony first so D-rae and I had some time to come up with something.
As I was sitting there in a room of 10 Ugandan women, wondering what I could share with them to encourage them, and kicking myself for not having something planned in case of this very situation, I decided to just share my favorite verse and see where that took me. Thankfully God guided my thoughts and gave me the words to speak, and He taught me more while I was sharing than I could've ever taught those women. My favorite verse is Proverbs 16:9. We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Speaking today was a good reminder to me of several things. 1) Never assume anything in Uganda. Even if you think you're not in charge of a Bible study, you probably are. 2) Don't speak too fast or for too long when someone is translating for you...this tends to make things more difficult. 3) Most importantly, God reminded me that He is in control. I may have plans for my life, but the direction that he takes me is always best.
I shared with the ladies a few paths that God has taken me on that I would have never expected. Five years ago if someone had told me I'd be living in Uganda at age 22, I probably would've laughed at them. I would've never dreamed that I would blow out my knee and end my basketball career so early. I had planned on playing all four years in college, but God had different ideas. I for sure never pictured losing my Dad when I was so young, but again, God is in control and he works all things for his good.
It's sometimes painful to look back on missed opportunities or unexpected twists and turns in life. But thankfully, the more I have experienced and the more I have grown, God has revealed to me his purpose in so many things. I see purpose in not playing basketball all four years. I definitely see purpose in the path that led me here to Uganda. The hardest of those situations to consistently see God's purpose in is the loss of my dad. There are days when I still question his plans. The pain of losing my dad is still so great, and it's hard at times to believe that there was good behind that situation. Pain is always easier to deal with when you can see the purpose in it, but I have to confess that there are many times when I fail to see any purpose in this part of my life. Today, more than ever before, I think I clearly saw a big part of the purpose behind that pain.
In that room of ten women, at least two of them have never met their birth mother. Doreen is an orphan. Every single woman in that room has lost their husband to death. The heartache and struggle in these women's lives was almost too much for me to hear today. Take Judith for example. She is a Rwandan and has never known her mother. Her dad was killed in the 1994 genocide. She fled to Uganda as a refugee and got married to a Ugandan. He then died and left her with six children to raise on her own. Or take the woman whose husband tried to kill her when she was pregnant with her fourth child. She now works at the university and sends all the money she makes home to send her children to school. These women know what it means to lose someone because they all have.
When I mentioned that I lost my dad when I was 15, there was a murmur and almost a moan from all the women. I shared that story with my friend Annah one time and she couldn't believe it. She didn't think that children lost parents when they were young in America. She thought that was only a problem in Africa, where AIDS is so rampant. Honestly, she was shocked to hear it, and I think her exact response was, "That is very uncommon in America, right?" Today I realized that maybe part of God's divine plan in me losing my dad so young was to be able to better understand and relate to the people that I am surrounded with now, seven years later. They have all known great pain in their life, and they understood my pain when I shared it today. I tried to imagine what my response to their heartbreaking stories might have been had I not experienced the loss of my dad. I don't think I would've been able to look at them with tears in my eyes and truly know their pain. I don't think I would've known what to say when it came time for me to share. I also think that my loss made me more real to them and more like them. The differences between us are obvious, but our losses connected us today.
I walked away from the Bible study today thanking God that he determines my steps. I am thankful that even though I make all kinds of plans for my life, in the end, his plan will always be done. I am not in control, and I'm just so thankful that He is. His ways are hard for us to understand at times, but I'm thankful for times like today where his ways make a little more sense to us.. Today I felt like he was taking off the blinders and revealing to me the purpose in the pain of losing my dad. I am so thankful for the ways that he is using the loss of my dad to reach people even today, in Uganda. My prayer today is that when it feels like my life is taking the wrong direction, I can rest in the peace of knowing that if God is leading me, it's always the right direction.
As I was sitting there in a room of 10 Ugandan women, wondering what I could share with them to encourage them, and kicking myself for not having something planned in case of this very situation, I decided to just share my favorite verse and see where that took me. Thankfully God guided my thoughts and gave me the words to speak, and He taught me more while I was sharing than I could've ever taught those women. My favorite verse is Proverbs 16:9. We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Speaking today was a good reminder to me of several things. 1) Never assume anything in Uganda. Even if you think you're not in charge of a Bible study, you probably are. 2) Don't speak too fast or for too long when someone is translating for you...this tends to make things more difficult. 3) Most importantly, God reminded me that He is in control. I may have plans for my life, but the direction that he takes me is always best.
I shared with the ladies a few paths that God has taken me on that I would have never expected. Five years ago if someone had told me I'd be living in Uganda at age 22, I probably would've laughed at them. I would've never dreamed that I would blow out my knee and end my basketball career so early. I had planned on playing all four years in college, but God had different ideas. I for sure never pictured losing my Dad when I was so young, but again, God is in control and he works all things for his good.
It's sometimes painful to look back on missed opportunities or unexpected twists and turns in life. But thankfully, the more I have experienced and the more I have grown, God has revealed to me his purpose in so many things. I see purpose in not playing basketball all four years. I definitely see purpose in the path that led me here to Uganda. The hardest of those situations to consistently see God's purpose in is the loss of my dad. There are days when I still question his plans. The pain of losing my dad is still so great, and it's hard at times to believe that there was good behind that situation. Pain is always easier to deal with when you can see the purpose in it, but I have to confess that there are many times when I fail to see any purpose in this part of my life. Today, more than ever before, I think I clearly saw a big part of the purpose behind that pain.
In that room of ten women, at least two of them have never met their birth mother. Doreen is an orphan. Every single woman in that room has lost their husband to death. The heartache and struggle in these women's lives was almost too much for me to hear today. Take Judith for example. She is a Rwandan and has never known her mother. Her dad was killed in the 1994 genocide. She fled to Uganda as a refugee and got married to a Ugandan. He then died and left her with six children to raise on her own. Or take the woman whose husband tried to kill her when she was pregnant with her fourth child. She now works at the university and sends all the money she makes home to send her children to school. These women know what it means to lose someone because they all have.
When I mentioned that I lost my dad when I was 15, there was a murmur and almost a moan from all the women. I shared that story with my friend Annah one time and she couldn't believe it. She didn't think that children lost parents when they were young in America. She thought that was only a problem in Africa, where AIDS is so rampant. Honestly, she was shocked to hear it, and I think her exact response was, "That is very uncommon in America, right?" Today I realized that maybe part of God's divine plan in me losing my dad so young was to be able to better understand and relate to the people that I am surrounded with now, seven years later. They have all known great pain in their life, and they understood my pain when I shared it today. I tried to imagine what my response to their heartbreaking stories might have been had I not experienced the loss of my dad. I don't think I would've been able to look at them with tears in my eyes and truly know their pain. I don't think I would've known what to say when it came time for me to share. I also think that my loss made me more real to them and more like them. The differences between us are obvious, but our losses connected us today.
I walked away from the Bible study today thanking God that he determines my steps. I am thankful that even though I make all kinds of plans for my life, in the end, his plan will always be done. I am not in control, and I'm just so thankful that He is. His ways are hard for us to understand at times, but I'm thankful for times like today where his ways make a little more sense to us.. Today I felt like he was taking off the blinders and revealing to me the purpose in the pain of losing my dad. I am so thankful for the ways that he is using the loss of my dad to reach people even today, in Uganda. My prayer today is that when it feels like my life is taking the wrong direction, I can rest in the peace of knowing that if God is leading me, it's always the right direction.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Our weakness is His strength
Weakness is such a negative word with such an ugly connotation in our world today. Weaknesses seem to be associated with inability and shortcomings. We view, and definitely rightly so at times, weakness as the crack in the door that Satan uses to plant his home firmly in our hearts. Weaknesses are bad. They are unspoken of, and they are unwanted. I mean, who really wants to be weak?
This negative view of our weaknesses is not something that I am above. I hate admitting when I am weak, and all to often pretend that I am strong in each and every situation. I live this way, full of pride, and false pride at that, but the Bible tells us such a different story. Does anyone else out there read the Bible the way they want to read it? You know what I mean. You underline all the right verses and know the staple scriptures by heart, but you skip the part about actually applying them to your life. Well, I, for one, am guilty of that. One of my favorite verses, and also one of the most challenging to me, is one that I rarely live out in my life.
I think Paul's view of weaknesses is so refreshingly different from my own, and yet so hard to live out. In 2 Corinthians 11, Paul is speaking of the many trials that he has faced as a follower of Jesus. He tells of the times he was beaten, put in prison, even shipwrecked. I love how he ends this chapter. After rehashing all the horrible experiences he had to endure (which I have to confess always kind of sounds like borderline boasting to me. Ok I feel better getting that off my chest ;) he writes verse 30. If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am. After reading that verse, I have to ask myself how many times I willingly seek to show others the weakness in my life. I'm ashamed to say that I'm usually way too concerned with what others think of me to open myself up to sharing the ugliness in my life. Challenging stuff for sure, but Paul wasn't done here.
Paul goes on to discuss the thorn in his flesh, and I absolutely love the response that God gave to Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9. My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. Man, that is good stuff. This is definitely a theme verse for my life. God's grace is so much bigger than any sin or any failure in my life. In this verse, I almost can picture God just sitting by waiting to swoop in and cover us with his grace. He's ready to show his awesome power, and most times that comes through our failures and our weaknesses. Paul gets that, and I think that is evident from the next few verses. Paul chooses to embrace his weaknesses so that Christ's power can be shown in his life. He even goes as far to say that he delights and takes pleasure (NLT) in those weak areas of his life because he knows that only when he admits how weak he is will God show up and make him strong again.
I need to be reminded of this on a daily basis. I need to be reminded that God calls me to lay down my pride, so that his name can be glorified instead of my own. I need to remember that in order to truly let God reign in my life, I have to die to myself...all of myself...every day. I need to remember that the more I recognize that I am nothing with him, the more God is ready to make me something with him. God's word is so full of paradoxes, and this is just another one. The world tells us to be strong, yet God reminds us that boldly sharing our weaknesses brings us far more strength than we could ever imagine. I'm thankful for his word, and the way it convicts me. I'm thankful for people who teach me to readily share my weaknesses, and then love me even more after seeing them.
It's been awhile since I've included some song lyrics on here. I've recently become obsessed with the group Leeland. They've got some powerful lyrics, and I am in love with the song "Carried to the Table." They say it better than I could ever say it.
Fighting thoughts of fear and wondering why He called my name
Am I good enough to share this cup; this world has left me lame
Even in my weakness, the Savior called my name
In His Holy presence, I’m healed and unashamed
God wants us right where we are. He is more powerful than we could ever imagine, and he can use our failures, our sins, and our weaknesses in mighty ways. I pray for a heart that can truly be unashamed of my weaknesses because I'm so in awe of the ways that God is using them to show his power.
This negative view of our weaknesses is not something that I am above. I hate admitting when I am weak, and all to often pretend that I am strong in each and every situation. I live this way, full of pride, and false pride at that, but the Bible tells us such a different story. Does anyone else out there read the Bible the way they want to read it? You know what I mean. You underline all the right verses and know the staple scriptures by heart, but you skip the part about actually applying them to your life. Well, I, for one, am guilty of that. One of my favorite verses, and also one of the most challenging to me, is one that I rarely live out in my life.
I think Paul's view of weaknesses is so refreshingly different from my own, and yet so hard to live out. In 2 Corinthians 11, Paul is speaking of the many trials that he has faced as a follower of Jesus. He tells of the times he was beaten, put in prison, even shipwrecked. I love how he ends this chapter. After rehashing all the horrible experiences he had to endure (which I have to confess always kind of sounds like borderline boasting to me. Ok I feel better getting that off my chest ;) he writes verse 30. If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am. After reading that verse, I have to ask myself how many times I willingly seek to show others the weakness in my life. I'm ashamed to say that I'm usually way too concerned with what others think of me to open myself up to sharing the ugliness in my life. Challenging stuff for sure, but Paul wasn't done here.
Paul goes on to discuss the thorn in his flesh, and I absolutely love the response that God gave to Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9. My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. Man, that is good stuff. This is definitely a theme verse for my life. God's grace is so much bigger than any sin or any failure in my life. In this verse, I almost can picture God just sitting by waiting to swoop in and cover us with his grace. He's ready to show his awesome power, and most times that comes through our failures and our weaknesses. Paul gets that, and I think that is evident from the next few verses. Paul chooses to embrace his weaknesses so that Christ's power can be shown in his life. He even goes as far to say that he delights and takes pleasure (NLT) in those weak areas of his life because he knows that only when he admits how weak he is will God show up and make him strong again.
I need to be reminded of this on a daily basis. I need to be reminded that God calls me to lay down my pride, so that his name can be glorified instead of my own. I need to remember that in order to truly let God reign in my life, I have to die to myself...all of myself...every day. I need to remember that the more I recognize that I am nothing with him, the more God is ready to make me something with him. God's word is so full of paradoxes, and this is just another one. The world tells us to be strong, yet God reminds us that boldly sharing our weaknesses brings us far more strength than we could ever imagine. I'm thankful for his word, and the way it convicts me. I'm thankful for people who teach me to readily share my weaknesses, and then love me even more after seeing them.
It's been awhile since I've included some song lyrics on here. I've recently become obsessed with the group Leeland. They've got some powerful lyrics, and I am in love with the song "Carried to the Table." They say it better than I could ever say it.
Fighting thoughts of fear and wondering why He called my name
Am I good enough to share this cup; this world has left me lame
Even in my weakness, the Savior called my name
In His Holy presence, I’m healed and unashamed
God wants us right where we are. He is more powerful than we could ever imagine, and he can use our failures, our sins, and our weaknesses in mighty ways. I pray for a heart that can truly be unashamed of my weaknesses because I'm so in awe of the ways that God is using them to show his power.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Kenya=Incredible
I feel pretty confident in saying that after what D-rae and I have done the last week, we can figure out any situation and do pretty much anything. We set off on our first real traveling adventure of our four months here, and it was quite the adventure. The week started with spending three days in Kampala with our team, savoring our last time with the Fouts. We stayed at a hotel called the American Club, and it is pretty American. The food is pretty good, and there's even a picture of George Bush in the lobby. The weekend was full of swimming, or getting thrown into the pool in all of your clothes on(thanks Nick), playing tennis, playing cards, and spending time with our friends. We went to the airport Sunday night to say goodbye to the Fouts and that was a pretty hard thing to do. There were a lot of hugs and tears, and I left feeling pretty empty.
God's timing is perfect though, and thankfully Des and I had a fun trip to look forward to after saying a hard goodbye. We were so thankful that we weren't just heading back to Mbarara the next day, but instead we were taking off on an adventure of our own. We spent Monday in Kampala, hanging out at a bookstore in the mall, drinking our first Dr. Pepper since May, and I got my first haircut in Africa. That night we went to the airport, flew to Nairobi, and spent the night in a hotel in downtown Nairobi. I didn't realize how western and modernized Nairobi is, and let's just say I was a little overstimulated by all the flashing lights and big buildings. I've been in Africa too long...
Tuesday morning we set off on the 6 hour trip to Masai Mara, the game park where we were going for our safari. This is supposed to be one of the best places to go on a safari in the world, so needless to say, we were pumped. We were the only two people going on a safari with this particular company so it was just us, our awesome driver Peter, and Imraan, the owner of the company, in the bus. We felt kind of like royalty and were definitely a little spoiled by being the only ones. We drove through the Great Rift Valley much of the drive, and the view down into the valley was incredibly beautiful. The roads were awful though...probably the worst roads I've ever seen in my life. The curvy, steep hill down into the valley was also really dangerous. There was a wreck on it two days before we were there where three tourists died, and we actually saw another death on the way back. This was one of the many times on this trip that I thanked God for his protection and realized how lucky we are to have a God who takes care of us.
We got to Masai Mara in the afternoon and went straight out for game drive #1. Within 45 minutes we had seen giraffe, elephants, lions, and a leopard, which are pretty much the big things to see. Yeah it was awesome and I think at that point I had already decided that the money we spent on this safari was well worth it. Imraan has been going on safaris since he was three years old and he's only seen a leopard six times, so we were really lucky. Peter was an awesome driver and would drive off the paths, which is definitely frowned upon, just so we could get better pictures. We were close enough to touch almost every animal that we saw. It was awesome. I also saw one of the prettiest sunsets of my life...and yes, I took a few pictures.
While on our safari, we camped out in tents at a campsite that is right next to the park. Again, we were the only two people there, and there were actually more people staying there to take care of us (cook, guard, guides). Each night we would shower, eat an awesome dinner, then sit out by the campfire listening to crazy stories and looking at the amazing stars. Sidenote: I really think the stars are better here in Africa.
One of the craziest things about the safari was that we had two real Masai warriors guarding our tent each night. No, no...not from humans, but from the animals that occasionally wander into the campsite from the park. The park isn't fenced in so the animals pretty much have free room, and some of the stories that John, one of our Masai guards, told involved him running from both elephants and lions within the campsite. Imraan and John heard lions roaring nearby each morning and even followed them one day. Probably not the smartest idea if you ask me. Don't worry Mom...I was safely asleep in my tent at this point.
Wednesday was filled with three more game drives and lots of lions. It was really great to just be out in God's creation and experience it in such a new and cool way. I have to admit though that I am pretty awful at spotting animals while on safari. I told Des that it was my goal to just spot one animal before she did. Some of it might have to do with the fact that I tend to get a little distracted by the scenery and my new obsession with acacia trees (they were all over the place). So the safari went a little like this...D-rae "Oh there's some more giraffes. And some elephants over there. Oh yeah and don't miss those lions." Me "Ooooo....Look. I just spotted my 37th acacia tree." Yeah I'm pathetic. Thankfully my safari partner has awesome eyes.
My favorite part of the safari was when we visited a real Masai village Wednesday afternoon. This village is exactly what I picture when I think of an African village. All of the huts are in a little circle, surrounded by a fence-like structure. The Masai warriors all wear red because they are such fierce warriors, and they are also the people that you see on National Geographic that make big holes in their earlobes. We got to watch (and participate) in both the men's and women's dances. We also watched them make fire from sticks...yeah, it really works. It was an incredible experience. I can't even begin to put it into words, and this is getting lengthy already so let me just hit some highlights. D-rae and I tried to jump as high as the warriors...didn't work. We were both made chief for a few minutes. The chief of the village asked if I was married yet...awkward. We were able to truly see inside the life of a very culturally preserved African village. It was awesome and well worth the trip.
The safari ended on Thursday and we drove back to Nairobi. Peter took us to the airport, and we ended up spending six hours in the Nairobi airport because our flight was delayed. I got some coffee from the Nairobi Java House (Africa's version of Starbucks), and for a few minutes, I thought I had died and gone to Heaven. We also spent a lot of time people watching and playing a fun game we invented called "Guess my nationality." We're getting pretty good at guessing where people are from. However, people here are really bad at guessing where I'm from. This one guy at the Rift Valley lookout point asked if I was from Holland. I mean c'mon. Imraan told me I don't look American, but maybe Australian. Must be the blonde hair....
Friday was definitely one of the most interesting days of our journey. We had to go grocery shopping in Kampala before heading home to get some things that we can't get in town here. We had a cooler bag for all of the meat that we were buying, and we were just praying that it would stay cold on the however long trip we had back to Mbarara. This was another one of those times that I thanked God for his protection as I was riding through the crazy streets of Kampala on a boda-boda (small motorcyle), squeezing between cars, with my huge hiking backpack in between me and my driver, while holding the cooler bag and other grocery bags as well. I feel pretty sure that you all would've laughed at me. My boda driver was a little acrobat and he squeezed through some spaces that I'm honestly not sure how we made it through. Check that. I am sure. The whole time in my head I was singing, "God will make a way, when there seems to be no way..." It's true. He does.
We had our first experience with taking the public buses back to Mbarara. We've been lucky enough to be able to ride to Kampala and back with our team members so far, but this time we were on our own. Everyone has made public to sound so awful so we went in expecting the worse. As we drove up to the bus park, people immediately started grabbing our bags and taking them to their bus. In fact, two men almost got in a fight over my bag because they both wanting my business. We finally got to a bus and sat on it for an hour and a half waiting for it to fill because the buses refuse to leave until they're completely full. The four hour trip to Mbarara wasn't nearly as bad as everyone made it out to be, and it was $7 so you can't beat that.
Whew...that was long. Sorry to get so wordy and so detailed, but I just want to share all of these incredible, and funny, experiences with all of you. It was an incredible trip, but I've never been so happy to see little Beco Hostel in all my life. When we landed back in Entebbe, I turned to Des and remarked how good it felt to be back home in Uganda, a place where we know some of the language, we know our way around, and we know the people. Uganda is home. That seems weird to say, but I'm so thankful that I can say that and truly mean it. God has blessed us so much in our time here so far. I feel 100% comfortable here in Mbarara, and he continues to bless us with experiences and relationships that make us love our life here even more. God is good, and he is taking care of us always.
God's timing is perfect though, and thankfully Des and I had a fun trip to look forward to after saying a hard goodbye. We were so thankful that we weren't just heading back to Mbarara the next day, but instead we were taking off on an adventure of our own. We spent Monday in Kampala, hanging out at a bookstore in the mall, drinking our first Dr. Pepper since May, and I got my first haircut in Africa. That night we went to the airport, flew to Nairobi, and spent the night in a hotel in downtown Nairobi. I didn't realize how western and modernized Nairobi is, and let's just say I was a little overstimulated by all the flashing lights and big buildings. I've been in Africa too long...
Tuesday morning we set off on the 6 hour trip to Masai Mara, the game park where we were going for our safari. This is supposed to be one of the best places to go on a safari in the world, so needless to say, we were pumped. We were the only two people going on a safari with this particular company so it was just us, our awesome driver Peter, and Imraan, the owner of the company, in the bus. We felt kind of like royalty and were definitely a little spoiled by being the only ones. We drove through the Great Rift Valley much of the drive, and the view down into the valley was incredibly beautiful. The roads were awful though...probably the worst roads I've ever seen in my life. The curvy, steep hill down into the valley was also really dangerous. There was a wreck on it two days before we were there where three tourists died, and we actually saw another death on the way back. This was one of the many times on this trip that I thanked God for his protection and realized how lucky we are to have a God who takes care of us.
We got to Masai Mara in the afternoon and went straight out for game drive #1. Within 45 minutes we had seen giraffe, elephants, lions, and a leopard, which are pretty much the big things to see. Yeah it was awesome and I think at that point I had already decided that the money we spent on this safari was well worth it. Imraan has been going on safaris since he was three years old and he's only seen a leopard six times, so we were really lucky. Peter was an awesome driver and would drive off the paths, which is definitely frowned upon, just so we could get better pictures. We were close enough to touch almost every animal that we saw. It was awesome. I also saw one of the prettiest sunsets of my life...and yes, I took a few pictures.
While on our safari, we camped out in tents at a campsite that is right next to the park. Again, we were the only two people there, and there were actually more people staying there to take care of us (cook, guard, guides). Each night we would shower, eat an awesome dinner, then sit out by the campfire listening to crazy stories and looking at the amazing stars. Sidenote: I really think the stars are better here in Africa.
One of the craziest things about the safari was that we had two real Masai warriors guarding our tent each night. No, no...not from humans, but from the animals that occasionally wander into the campsite from the park. The park isn't fenced in so the animals pretty much have free room, and some of the stories that John, one of our Masai guards, told involved him running from both elephants and lions within the campsite. Imraan and John heard lions roaring nearby each morning and even followed them one day. Probably not the smartest idea if you ask me. Don't worry Mom...I was safely asleep in my tent at this point.
Wednesday was filled with three more game drives and lots of lions. It was really great to just be out in God's creation and experience it in such a new and cool way. I have to admit though that I am pretty awful at spotting animals while on safari. I told Des that it was my goal to just spot one animal before she did. Some of it might have to do with the fact that I tend to get a little distracted by the scenery and my new obsession with acacia trees (they were all over the place). So the safari went a little like this...D-rae "Oh there's some more giraffes. And some elephants over there. Oh yeah and don't miss those lions." Me "Ooooo....Look. I just spotted my 37th acacia tree." Yeah I'm pathetic. Thankfully my safari partner has awesome eyes.
My favorite part of the safari was when we visited a real Masai village Wednesday afternoon. This village is exactly what I picture when I think of an African village. All of the huts are in a little circle, surrounded by a fence-like structure. The Masai warriors all wear red because they are such fierce warriors, and they are also the people that you see on National Geographic that make big holes in their earlobes. We got to watch (and participate) in both the men's and women's dances. We also watched them make fire from sticks...yeah, it really works. It was an incredible experience. I can't even begin to put it into words, and this is getting lengthy already so let me just hit some highlights. D-rae and I tried to jump as high as the warriors...didn't work. We were both made chief for a few minutes. The chief of the village asked if I was married yet...awkward. We were able to truly see inside the life of a very culturally preserved African village. It was awesome and well worth the trip.
The safari ended on Thursday and we drove back to Nairobi. Peter took us to the airport, and we ended up spending six hours in the Nairobi airport because our flight was delayed. I got some coffee from the Nairobi Java House (Africa's version of Starbucks), and for a few minutes, I thought I had died and gone to Heaven. We also spent a lot of time people watching and playing a fun game we invented called "Guess my nationality." We're getting pretty good at guessing where people are from. However, people here are really bad at guessing where I'm from. This one guy at the Rift Valley lookout point asked if I was from Holland. I mean c'mon. Imraan told me I don't look American, but maybe Australian. Must be the blonde hair....
Friday was definitely one of the most interesting days of our journey. We had to go grocery shopping in Kampala before heading home to get some things that we can't get in town here. We had a cooler bag for all of the meat that we were buying, and we were just praying that it would stay cold on the however long trip we had back to Mbarara. This was another one of those times that I thanked God for his protection as I was riding through the crazy streets of Kampala on a boda-boda (small motorcyle), squeezing between cars, with my huge hiking backpack in between me and my driver, while holding the cooler bag and other grocery bags as well. I feel pretty sure that you all would've laughed at me. My boda driver was a little acrobat and he squeezed through some spaces that I'm honestly not sure how we made it through. Check that. I am sure. The whole time in my head I was singing, "God will make a way, when there seems to be no way..." It's true. He does.
We had our first experience with taking the public buses back to Mbarara. We've been lucky enough to be able to ride to Kampala and back with our team members so far, but this time we were on our own. Everyone has made public to sound so awful so we went in expecting the worse. As we drove up to the bus park, people immediately started grabbing our bags and taking them to their bus. In fact, two men almost got in a fight over my bag because they both wanting my business. We finally got to a bus and sat on it for an hour and a half waiting for it to fill because the buses refuse to leave until they're completely full. The four hour trip to Mbarara wasn't nearly as bad as everyone made it out to be, and it was $7 so you can't beat that.
Whew...that was long. Sorry to get so wordy and so detailed, but I just want to share all of these incredible, and funny, experiences with all of you. It was an incredible trip, but I've never been so happy to see little Beco Hostel in all my life. When we landed back in Entebbe, I turned to Des and remarked how good it felt to be back home in Uganda, a place where we know some of the language, we know our way around, and we know the people. Uganda is home. That seems weird to say, but I'm so thankful that I can say that and truly mean it. God has blessed us so much in our time here so far. I feel 100% comfortable here in Mbarara, and he continues to bless us with experiences and relationships that make us love our life here even more. God is good, and he is taking care of us always.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Just for fun...
Ok, so funny things happen on a daily basis here. I keep a little journal of all the funny experiences and stories just so we can go back during the times of no power, when we're bored out of our minds,- and laugh at them again. I thought it was time to share some of these with you. Have fun and know we're still laughing about most of them....
- We've experienced earthquake #2. We also discovered that with each earthquake a little more of our wall falls off and the cracks get bigger. Yeah Beco is struggling.
- There was a rat in our room last week. But we, correction...Desarae bravely got rid of it.
- Patience, one of the girls at the bible study, might have just come for the cookies. In between people sharing their stories, she would announce, "And meanwhile, I'm going to have another cookie." And she did....about 6 to be exact.
- I electrocuted myself again today. But good news, it was with an American plug, so only 110 volts of energy instead of 220 like last time.
- Today while running, a little girl ran next to me for a few minutes. It was really cute.
- For the last day of school, my kids rapped Psalm 143, which was their memory verse this summer. It was hilarious and I'm sad that the internet connection is too slow to put up the video.
- A guy in our hostel very bluntly proposed to me a few weeks ago. No worries Mom...I said no.
- The doorknob on our bedroom door is broken and we've been locked in several times.
- We experienced a Ugandan garage sale and it was hilarious. Everyone and their mom was asking for reductions....on everything.
- A random man that we met on the street the other day invited us to his wedding on Saturday. Sadly, we will be out of town and we had to decline.
- Avery Fouts announced to me one day that she was going to walk on water the next day and I was invited. Unfortunately, it didn't work out.
- Another time, we had girls night out and I actually decided to wear make-up for once. Avery just looked at me and said "How'd you get so pretty?" I decided to take it as a compliment rather than being offended that apparently I'm not pretty any other time.
- So sometimes being stared at 24/7 kind of gets old. In one of these moments, D-rae said the following, which really made me laugh. "I just don't understand it. I mean we glance, assess, and look away. It's that simple."
- We had no power for 11 out of 17 days. Wait, that's not funny. How did that make the list.
- We've experienced earthquake #2. We also discovered that with each earthquake a little more of our wall falls off and the cracks get bigger. Yeah Beco is struggling.
- There was a rat in our room last week. But we, correction...Desarae bravely got rid of it.
- Patience, one of the girls at the bible study, might have just come for the cookies. In between people sharing their stories, she would announce, "And meanwhile, I'm going to have another cookie." And she did....about 6 to be exact.
- I electrocuted myself again today. But good news, it was with an American plug, so only 110 volts of energy instead of 220 like last time.
- Today while running, a little girl ran next to me for a few minutes. It was really cute.
- For the last day of school, my kids rapped Psalm 143, which was their memory verse this summer. It was hilarious and I'm sad that the internet connection is too slow to put up the video.
- A guy in our hostel very bluntly proposed to me a few weeks ago. No worries Mom...I said no.
- The doorknob on our bedroom door is broken and we've been locked in several times.
- We experienced a Ugandan garage sale and it was hilarious. Everyone and their mom was asking for reductions....on everything.
- A random man that we met on the street the other day invited us to his wedding on Saturday. Sadly, we will be out of town and we had to decline.
- Avery Fouts announced to me one day that she was going to walk on water the next day and I was invited. Unfortunately, it didn't work out.
- Another time, we had girls night out and I actually decided to wear make-up for once. Avery just looked at me and said "How'd you get so pretty?" I decided to take it as a compliment rather than being offended that apparently I'm not pretty any other time.
- So sometimes being stared at 24/7 kind of gets old. In one of these moments, D-rae said the following, which really made me laugh. "I just don't understand it. I mean we glance, assess, and look away. It's that simple."
- We had no power for 11 out of 17 days. Wait, that's not funny. How did that make the list.
God's blessings
Today has been a great day. It's just been one of those days where God seems to pour out his blessings even more abundantly than usual, and as a result, you can't help but give him thanks. These past few weeks have been really busy and filled with some bittersweet emotions. We've spent a lot of time with the Fouts soaking up every minute with them since they are leaving Uganda on Sunday. They've been here for 10 years and were part of the initial team that came here in 1997. Their commitment is up and now they are headed back to the states to start a life there. We had our team goodbye with them on Sunday, and it was a really hard night. It's incredible how close I've gotten to that family is just four months (also incredible that I've been here for 4 months...this time is going way too fast). It was hard to watch them pull away from their house in Mbarara on Monday knowing that we can't walk up the hill anymore for lunch or just to hang out. Thankfully we're headed to Kampala on Friday to spend the weekend with them before they leave. I'm really grateful for this time with them, but still dreading the goodbye on Sunday.
So in the midst of sadness and transitions, I'm especially grateful for a day like today. God is so real and alive here in Mbarara, and I thank him daily for bringing me here. I wish I could put into words the things he's teaching me. I wish you could all come and experience this, even for just a week (good news Mom, Dave, Morgan, and Jessica...you get to!) because this place will change you no matter what. I've seen him more clearly and in a more real than ever before these past few months, and it has nothing to do with me. It has to do with the people that I've met here, the team I'm apart of, and the different kind of life that I'm experiencing here. It has to do with the fact that our God is bigger than anything and can get through to anyone, even a stubborn sinner like me.
Tonight was one of the best nights I've had since being in Uganda. For those of you that don't know, I'm now done teaching full-time. We have the next three weeks off of school, and then in late October we'll only be teaching part-time, which leaves us with more free time to start some other ministries that Desarae and I are both passionate about. One of the things I've been most excited about doing here is starting a Bible study with some of the girls in our hostel. Tonight was the first time we met and I want to share the joy of it with all of you.
It was supposed to start at 7:00, but of course with African time, we still had girls showing up at 7:45. We had five girls come tonight, Rachel, Angela, Rachel, Fiona, and Patience. Rachel showed up at 6:30, ate dinner with us, and then watched me make cookies. I made some cake mix cookies and she was amazed at how easy they were. She is a very strong Christian, and I can already tell that I'm going to learn a lot from her. She loves Christian music and we were talking about our favorite groups before everyone else got here. Sidenote: She couldn't believe it when we told her we've never met any member of Casting Crowns, Mercy Me, or Oprah. She was seriously in shock. We had to explain to her that America is huge and you don't see those people just walking down the street from day to day.
The night was just great. We explained to them our vision for the Bible study and talked about days and times. Then we just spent the rest of the time sharing our stories of how we came to know God. It was so encouraging to go so deep and be so real with these girls so quickly. They all opened up to us and shared their hearts in a real way. Angela's story is especially interesting because her family is from Rwanda and they moved to Uganda after surviving the genocide.
One of the coolest parts of the night was just seeing how similar we all are. Desarae and I grew up in America living with comforts that these girls will never know. Most of them probably grew up in a mud hut in a village somewhere in Uganda or Rwanda. Yet, at our core, we are all sinners and we all struggle with similar things. We're all saved only by God's grace and that is a connection that is so strong.
D-rae and I closed the door after they left and just smiled. Tonight made me come alive. This is my passion and this is why I came to Africa. Teaching the kids has been a blast and I've loved it, but I wanted to come here to interact with the Ugandans and hopefully share Jesus with them. These girls taught me more tonight than I could've ever imagined. I am so blessed to be surrounded by them, and I can't wait to see how God is going to move and work. Please continue to pray for our work and especially for new open doors here in our hostel. God is good and I'm so thankful to be his child.
So in the midst of sadness and transitions, I'm especially grateful for a day like today. God is so real and alive here in Mbarara, and I thank him daily for bringing me here. I wish I could put into words the things he's teaching me. I wish you could all come and experience this, even for just a week (good news Mom, Dave, Morgan, and Jessica...you get to!) because this place will change you no matter what. I've seen him more clearly and in a more real than ever before these past few months, and it has nothing to do with me. It has to do with the people that I've met here, the team I'm apart of, and the different kind of life that I'm experiencing here. It has to do with the fact that our God is bigger than anything and can get through to anyone, even a stubborn sinner like me.
Tonight was one of the best nights I've had since being in Uganda. For those of you that don't know, I'm now done teaching full-time. We have the next three weeks off of school, and then in late October we'll only be teaching part-time, which leaves us with more free time to start some other ministries that Desarae and I are both passionate about. One of the things I've been most excited about doing here is starting a Bible study with some of the girls in our hostel. Tonight was the first time we met and I want to share the joy of it with all of you.
It was supposed to start at 7:00, but of course with African time, we still had girls showing up at 7:45. We had five girls come tonight, Rachel, Angela, Rachel, Fiona, and Patience. Rachel showed up at 6:30, ate dinner with us, and then watched me make cookies. I made some cake mix cookies and she was amazed at how easy they were. She is a very strong Christian, and I can already tell that I'm going to learn a lot from her. She loves Christian music and we were talking about our favorite groups before everyone else got here. Sidenote: She couldn't believe it when we told her we've never met any member of Casting Crowns, Mercy Me, or Oprah. She was seriously in shock. We had to explain to her that America is huge and you don't see those people just walking down the street from day to day.
The night was just great. We explained to them our vision for the Bible study and talked about days and times. Then we just spent the rest of the time sharing our stories of how we came to know God. It was so encouraging to go so deep and be so real with these girls so quickly. They all opened up to us and shared their hearts in a real way. Angela's story is especially interesting because her family is from Rwanda and they moved to Uganda after surviving the genocide.
One of the coolest parts of the night was just seeing how similar we all are. Desarae and I grew up in America living with comforts that these girls will never know. Most of them probably grew up in a mud hut in a village somewhere in Uganda or Rwanda. Yet, at our core, we are all sinners and we all struggle with similar things. We're all saved only by God's grace and that is a connection that is so strong.
D-rae and I closed the door after they left and just smiled. Tonight made me come alive. This is my passion and this is why I came to Africa. Teaching the kids has been a blast and I've loved it, but I wanted to come here to interact with the Ugandans and hopefully share Jesus with them. These girls taught me more tonight than I could've ever imagined. I am so blessed to be surrounded by them, and I can't wait to see how God is going to move and work. Please continue to pray for our work and especially for new open doors here in our hostel. God is good and I'm so thankful to be his child.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
My Brother Alex
I've been wanting to write an update about Alexanderson for awhile, but I wanted to wait until I could let you all know something definite. About a month ago, I sent out an email to many of you letting you know about a friend here who was in need of some help. Sitting at my computer, reading the 20+ responses that I got to that email in just a few short hours was one of the coolest things I've ever witnessed. People responded immediately and generously. It was so cool to see God's people surround and support a Christian brother, halfway across the world, that they will probably never meet. Thank you for reminding me of the incredible community that we're all a part of. I pray that I never take it for granted.
Over $700 has been raised for Alex so far, which is more than enough to cover his first term of school as well as the many supplies that he had to purchase to get ready for school. He came by this week and we gave him money to register for school and to go shopping to get some new clothes and all of his school supplies. The school that he will be going to is a boarding school so he won't have to worry about where his next meal will come from or if he'll have a place to sleep that night. So all of you not only took care of his education for the next year, but you've also helped to meet his everyday needs as well.
Alex starts school on Monday. Some of the money that was raised went to pay for coaching, or tutoring, these past few weeks to get him ready for school. He has been out of school for a couple of years, and he told us that everything in his brain has become fuzzy. Yeah, it was cute. He seems very very excited about going back to school. He can't keep the smile off his face when he's around us and talking about it. This week he told us that he is going to find some way to thank us, and his idea was to help us learn runyonkore over the next year. I'm all about that because it's getting kind of old to either 1) get laughed at every time I branch out and try a new phrase or 2) have the exact same conversation with the old man who is the guard near our apartment every single morning. I could use the help.
I hope you can all tell from the picture the joy that you've brought Alex by giving him the chance to go back to school again. He told us the other day that he just loves us so much and he could never thank us. I reminded him that there are many people back in America who love him very much and are so happy to help. I don't feel like I deserve any of his thanks in this. I did nothing except let you all know about a need. You are the ones who deserve the thanks. Thank you for helping to change his life. He is a special guy, and he deserves this chance. We've raised around half of the money that we'll need to pay for his entire year of school. If you're still interested in helping out, drop me an email and let me know.
One verse in the Bible that means a lot more to me after being in Uganda for three months and meeting people like Alex is Matthew 6:33. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Many of these people have no hope outside of God. They don't have money to eat today and they aren't sure if they will tomorrow. They're months behind on rent, and have nowhere to go once they get kicked out. They don't have the money to finish school, and so their hope of ever getting a decent job is pretty slim. Yet winning out over all of those negative circumstances in their lives is their trust and faith that God is still going to take care of them. I read in a book recently that perhaps those who live in poverty actually have an advantage over those of us who have more than we need. They actually live a life where there is nothing to depend on so they are forced to depend in God. So often, those of us who live in abundance of the things we need and many things we could definitely live without, never really learn to lean on God because there are so many other things we lean on first. I pray that God continues to teach me, through people like my dear brother Alex, what it truly means to take him at his word and believe that he will give us everything we need.
Over $700 has been raised for Alex so far, which is more than enough to cover his first term of school as well as the many supplies that he had to purchase to get ready for school. He came by this week and we gave him money to register for school and to go shopping to get some new clothes and all of his school supplies. The school that he will be going to is a boarding school so he won't have to worry about where his next meal will come from or if he'll have a place to sleep that night. So all of you not only took care of his education for the next year, but you've also helped to meet his everyday needs as well.
Alex starts school on Monday. Some of the money that was raised went to pay for coaching, or tutoring, these past few weeks to get him ready for school. He has been out of school for a couple of years, and he told us that everything in his brain has become fuzzy. Yeah, it was cute. He seems very very excited about going back to school. He can't keep the smile off his face when he's around us and talking about it. This week he told us that he is going to find some way to thank us, and his idea was to help us learn runyonkore over the next year. I'm all about that because it's getting kind of old to either 1) get laughed at every time I branch out and try a new phrase or 2) have the exact same conversation with the old man who is the guard near our apartment every single morning. I could use the help.
I hope you can all tell from the picture the joy that you've brought Alex by giving him the chance to go back to school again. He told us the other day that he just loves us so much and he could never thank us. I reminded him that there are many people back in America who love him very much and are so happy to help. I don't feel like I deserve any of his thanks in this. I did nothing except let you all know about a need. You are the ones who deserve the thanks. Thank you for helping to change his life. He is a special guy, and he deserves this chance. We've raised around half of the money that we'll need to pay for his entire year of school. If you're still interested in helping out, drop me an email and let me know.
One verse in the Bible that means a lot more to me after being in Uganda for three months and meeting people like Alex is Matthew 6:33. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Many of these people have no hope outside of God. They don't have money to eat today and they aren't sure if they will tomorrow. They're months behind on rent, and have nowhere to go once they get kicked out. They don't have the money to finish school, and so their hope of ever getting a decent job is pretty slim. Yet winning out over all of those negative circumstances in their lives is their trust and faith that God is still going to take care of them. I read in a book recently that perhaps those who live in poverty actually have an advantage over those of us who have more than we need. They actually live a life where there is nothing to depend on so they are forced to depend in God. So often, those of us who live in abundance of the things we need and many things we could definitely live without, never really learn to lean on God because there are so many other things we lean on first. I pray that God continues to teach me, through people like my dear brother Alex, what it truly means to take him at his word and believe that he will give us everything we need.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
The week of Sleepovers
I am exhausted. This past week has been a whirlwind. We've had two different sleepovers, each with 4 kids in this tiny apartment of ours. It was a busy week, and I feel like I haven't slept in days, but it was awesome. The kids here have become so special to me in the past three months, and I cherished these fun times with them.
The first sleepover was with my class. I challenged the kids at the beginning of the summer to read 150 books as a class during these three months of school. I promised them some sort of fun surprise if they made it. Well, they blew that goal out of the water and read well over 200 books, so they got their fun surprise. The sleepover was all the kids could talk about at school for several weeks. Everyday they asked me "How many days til the sleepover?" It finally got to the point where we just wrote a countdown on the board and updated it each day. The sleepover was Sunday night and during church Sunday morning, I looked across the room at one point to see Luke holding up 6 fingers and pointing at his watch. He was counting down the hours until the sleepover started. Cute huh?
The kids got to our apartment at 6:30. They absolutely love our apartment and they love coming over. They look at all of our pictures (Mortimer...this is where you come in :) and they love the sign that D-rae has up in our room that says "Don't pass gas." All of this usually occupies them for a good 15 minutes, which was perfect for me and Des to finish up their pizzas. We all ate dinner together and then started the first of three movies that we watched that night. After 3 movies, a game of Apples to Apples, getting fake tattoos, and lots of brownies and popcorn, we finally went to sleep at 1:30.
I woke up the next morning at 7:15 to Elizabeth Fouts staring at me from her sleeping bag on the floor. She just smiled and I could tell that she was ready for the fun to continue. After french toast and half of movie #4, we sent 4 adorable kids back home and we crashed. Ok sidenote, you know that part on Kindergarten Cop where Arnold Schwarzenegger walks in the door after his first day as the teacher. He shuts the door and then falls face first on his bed. Well, that's pretty much how I felt after I shut the door behind the kids. I even re-enacted it and started to fall face first on our floor, but stopped myself when I realized D-rae had no idea what was going on. I was exhausted...you get the idea.
Sleepover #2 happened on Friday night with just the Fouts kids. Nick and Renee were out of town for their anniversary, and D-rae and I jumped at the chance to watch their kids. We had them from Friday afternoon to Saturday afternoon, and it was so fun. After school on Friday, we went to our apartment. Things were complicated a little bit because our water had been out for a day, which tends to make cooking, bathing, brushing teeth, etc. a little more difficult. But that's life in Africa. It always keeps you on your toes.
D-rae took the three older kids to play while Avery, who is 3, stayed to help me cook dinner. I made spaghetti while she drew pictures and then taped them up in my room. When the kids got back, we ate dinner, watched a movie, and ate more brownies and popcorn. We got a little more sleep this time because their bedtime was 9, but I woke up to Avery jumping on top of me at 6:58 the next morning. After breakfast and another movie, we went to their house to hang out for the rest of the day. It was great to be with those kids, and I know that we will really cherish that time since they're leaving in just two weeks.
The first sleepover was with my class. I challenged the kids at the beginning of the summer to read 150 books as a class during these three months of school. I promised them some sort of fun surprise if they made it. Well, they blew that goal out of the water and read well over 200 books, so they got their fun surprise. The sleepover was all the kids could talk about at school for several weeks. Everyday they asked me "How many days til the sleepover?" It finally got to the point where we just wrote a countdown on the board and updated it each day. The sleepover was Sunday night and during church Sunday morning, I looked across the room at one point to see Luke holding up 6 fingers and pointing at his watch. He was counting down the hours until the sleepover started. Cute huh?
The kids got to our apartment at 6:30. They absolutely love our apartment and they love coming over. They look at all of our pictures (Mortimer...this is where you come in :) and they love the sign that D-rae has up in our room that says "Don't pass gas." All of this usually occupies them for a good 15 minutes, which was perfect for me and Des to finish up their pizzas. We all ate dinner together and then started the first of three movies that we watched that night. After 3 movies, a game of Apples to Apples, getting fake tattoos, and lots of brownies and popcorn, we finally went to sleep at 1:30.
I woke up the next morning at 7:15 to Elizabeth Fouts staring at me from her sleeping bag on the floor. She just smiled and I could tell that she was ready for the fun to continue. After french toast and half of movie #4, we sent 4 adorable kids back home and we crashed. Ok sidenote, you know that part on Kindergarten Cop where Arnold Schwarzenegger walks in the door after his first day as the teacher. He shuts the door and then falls face first on his bed. Well, that's pretty much how I felt after I shut the door behind the kids. I even re-enacted it and started to fall face first on our floor, but stopped myself when I realized D-rae had no idea what was going on. I was exhausted...you get the idea.
Sleepover #2 happened on Friday night with just the Fouts kids. Nick and Renee were out of town for their anniversary, and D-rae and I jumped at the chance to watch their kids. We had them from Friday afternoon to Saturday afternoon, and it was so fun. After school on Friday, we went to our apartment. Things were complicated a little bit because our water had been out for a day, which tends to make cooking, bathing, brushing teeth, etc. a little more difficult. But that's life in Africa. It always keeps you on your toes.
D-rae took the three older kids to play while Avery, who is 3, stayed to help me cook dinner. I made spaghetti while she drew pictures and then taped them up in my room. When the kids got back, we ate dinner, watched a movie, and ate more brownies and popcorn. We got a little more sleep this time because their bedtime was 9, but I woke up to Avery jumping on top of me at 6:58 the next morning. After breakfast and another movie, we went to their house to hang out for the rest of the day. It was great to be with those kids, and I know that we will really cherish that time since they're leaving in just two weeks.
So as you can tell, it was a full, but really great week. We got to spend a lot of time with our kids, and I wouldn't trade the late nights and early mornings for anything. It's funny how much I felt like an adult this past week. I know, that's a funny thing to say. Go ahead and laugh. But there is just something about cooking meals for kids, putting them to bed, and waking up with the sun to take care of them again that makes you feel all grown-up. Des and I were talking yesterday, and I mentioned that I think watching those 4 kids for a day was probably the most responsible thing I've ever done. Who would have though Africa would make me so mature? Hopefully you're all laughing at this point. I know that I laughed a lot with these kids, and I hope you enjoy the pictures!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Stubbornly resisting vs. Humbly submitting
Before starting this post, I have to confess something. My love for some of the Old Testament books is not what it should be. I’ve always struggled to read through Leviticus and Numbers, and to be honest, I don’t know that I’ve ever quite made it through. So needless to say, I wasn’t too excited today when my daily Bible study directed me to Numbers 22. But God never ceases to amaze me with the way that he constantly presents me with exactly what I need to read or hear in each moment. It sometimes comes in the most unlikely places…Numbers 22…through the most unlikely circumstances….a talking donkey.
I know I’ve heard about the story of Balaam and his talking donkey before, but I don’t know that I’ve actually read it for myself. Today I did, and I couldn’t believe how much I related the donkey. Yes, I just compared myself to a donkey…stick with me. Balaam was on his way to see King Balak, who had requested that he curse the Israelites who were threatening his land. On the way, something strange happens. His donkey, who he had ridden all of his life, does three very weird things during the journey. He runs off of the path into a field, tries to squeeze through a narrow passage resulting in injury to Balaam’s foot, and finally just lays down in the road. Each action on the donkey’s part results in a beating from Balaam. Now what Balaam doesn’t know and what he can’t see, is the angel of the Lord, with sword drawn, blocking their way. He doesn’t know the reason for the donkey’s strange behavior.
I realize that most sermons, devotional thoughts, or parallels drawn from this story are usually focused on Balaam and his response in this story, but I’d like to instead focus on the donkey. I couldn’t help reading this story without realizing how much I am like this donkey. So often in this journey of life, God reveals different things to me. He opens a door of opportunity or sometimes shuts a door of possibility. He convicts me of sin in my life or makes it clear to me what obeying him really looks like. He reveals himself to me in many different ways. Often times, my first reaction is simply to bolt and run in the complete opposite direction. I either lack the faith to trust him, or I don’t want to truly follow him and choose to die to myself. Thankfully, we serve a God of pursuit, a God who loves us so much that he will do whatever it takes to get our attention at times. He might try a second time and finally get my attention enough to the point where I’m walking towards him, but I usually try to squeeze by without really truly obeying him. I try to take the shortcut, which usually only results in more pain on my part. Sometimes it takes him completely blocking my path, but even then I tend to try to find another way.
There are several things I love about this story. First of all, I think it’s interesting that every time the donkey tried to miss the angel of the Lord, he goes through tremendous pain. I think it’s the same with us. When we ignore God, turn to other things, and ultimately choose a different path, it is always painful. God is the only thing worth it in this life, and it hurts when we realize that we’ve been choosing things other than him and trying to walk the journey alone. I also love the donkey’s response to seeing the angel the third time. He lays at his feet. He submits. He gives in. This is one part of the story where I am all too often NOT like the donkey. In this scenario, I picture myself getting a running start and taking the angel out. You know that part in the Lion King where Pumba goes bowling into the big group of birds. That’s me in this situation. I all too often just bulldoze through the truth standing in my way instead of humbly submitting to what I know is best.
The coolest part of this story is, of course, when the donkey talks. I think it’s crazy. (However, it’s even crazier to me that Balaam just answers the donkey. I mean, come on, your donkey just talked to you. At least scream or something…) The words that the donkey speaks are so familiar to me. They are what I hear God gently whispering each time that I doubt him. God says to me, “But I am the same God that you have followed all your life. Have I ever let you down before?”
I so desperately desire to trust God in all aspects of my life, but he desires my faith even more. He is urging and begging me to trust him because he’s never let me down and he never will. I tend to run from his truths and try to figure things out on my own, which always results in pain, rather than relinquish control to the only one who truly knows what is best. I pray for the donkey’s response to the third time of seeing the angel. I want to lay myself down at the feet of my Lord. I want to give up control and submit myself to him. I want to be like the donkey.
I know I’ve heard about the story of Balaam and his talking donkey before, but I don’t know that I’ve actually read it for myself. Today I did, and I couldn’t believe how much I related the donkey. Yes, I just compared myself to a donkey…stick with me. Balaam was on his way to see King Balak, who had requested that he curse the Israelites who were threatening his land. On the way, something strange happens. His donkey, who he had ridden all of his life, does three very weird things during the journey. He runs off of the path into a field, tries to squeeze through a narrow passage resulting in injury to Balaam’s foot, and finally just lays down in the road. Each action on the donkey’s part results in a beating from Balaam. Now what Balaam doesn’t know and what he can’t see, is the angel of the Lord, with sword drawn, blocking their way. He doesn’t know the reason for the donkey’s strange behavior.
I realize that most sermons, devotional thoughts, or parallels drawn from this story are usually focused on Balaam and his response in this story, but I’d like to instead focus on the donkey. I couldn’t help reading this story without realizing how much I am like this donkey. So often in this journey of life, God reveals different things to me. He opens a door of opportunity or sometimes shuts a door of possibility. He convicts me of sin in my life or makes it clear to me what obeying him really looks like. He reveals himself to me in many different ways. Often times, my first reaction is simply to bolt and run in the complete opposite direction. I either lack the faith to trust him, or I don’t want to truly follow him and choose to die to myself. Thankfully, we serve a God of pursuit, a God who loves us so much that he will do whatever it takes to get our attention at times. He might try a second time and finally get my attention enough to the point where I’m walking towards him, but I usually try to squeeze by without really truly obeying him. I try to take the shortcut, which usually only results in more pain on my part. Sometimes it takes him completely blocking my path, but even then I tend to try to find another way.
There are several things I love about this story. First of all, I think it’s interesting that every time the donkey tried to miss the angel of the Lord, he goes through tremendous pain. I think it’s the same with us. When we ignore God, turn to other things, and ultimately choose a different path, it is always painful. God is the only thing worth it in this life, and it hurts when we realize that we’ve been choosing things other than him and trying to walk the journey alone. I also love the donkey’s response to seeing the angel the third time. He lays at his feet. He submits. He gives in. This is one part of the story where I am all too often NOT like the donkey. In this scenario, I picture myself getting a running start and taking the angel out. You know that part in the Lion King where Pumba goes bowling into the big group of birds. That’s me in this situation. I all too often just bulldoze through the truth standing in my way instead of humbly submitting to what I know is best.
The coolest part of this story is, of course, when the donkey talks. I think it’s crazy. (However, it’s even crazier to me that Balaam just answers the donkey. I mean, come on, your donkey just talked to you. At least scream or something…) The words that the donkey speaks are so familiar to me. They are what I hear God gently whispering each time that I doubt him. God says to me, “But I am the same God that you have followed all your life. Have I ever let you down before?”
I so desperately desire to trust God in all aspects of my life, but he desires my faith even more. He is urging and begging me to trust him because he’s never let me down and he never will. I tend to run from his truths and try to figure things out on my own, which always results in pain, rather than relinquish control to the only one who truly knows what is best. I pray for the donkey’s response to the third time of seeing the angel. I want to lay myself down at the feet of my Lord. I want to give up control and submit myself to him. I want to be like the donkey.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
A Hard Reality (Disclaimer: This is long)
It's been a great week so far. It's our week off of school so I've had the last two days to just relax and rest. I feel like life has been so busy and on-the-go since I've been here, so it has been a nice change of pace to not have places to go and things to do. My favorite part of this week, however, was Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. It was the best part of this week, but at the same time it was the worst part of the week. The greatest experience that I've had since being here was also the hardest. It's been a hard thing to wrap my mind around, and I think that I'm still processing it a little bit.
The mission team here has set up something known as "bonding." It involves being dropped off in a village to live with a family for a few days. An African village basically looks like the picture that we all get when we first think of Africa. Mud huts. No electricity. No running water. No toilets. Extremely primitive. All of the interns that come to work with the Mbarara team go through this, and for the past few months, I've heard about what a great experience it is. So of course, Desarae and I jumped at the opportunity when we heard that we had a week off of school.
Our journey began on Sunday morning by going to a village for church with the Fouts. We went to the church in the village of Kasana, but the congregations from Kishenyi and Barere were also meeting there because it was a goodbye to the Fouts. Church lasted from 11:00 to 4:30. There were 8 different speakers and 8 different sermons, all of which were in runyonkore. It was a long day of sitting on hard wooden benches, being extremely hungry, and not understanding a word of what was said. There was one speaker who would throw in random sentences in English, and that helped to keep me engaged for awhile. At one point he got very serious and said, "Now, I need to speak this from my bottom." It's amazing how much that saying can be changed with you leave off three important words at the end of it. Renee, Des, and I got a serious case of the church giggles at this point. You know, when you're not supposed to be laughing so it makes it even harder to control. Yeah, it was bad.
As I was sitting there feeling hungry, tired, sore, and frustrated that I couldn't understand anything, I was also completely amazed at these people. Many of them had walked an hour or so just to get to church. They hadn't eaten since the morning, if they were lucky enough to get a meal then. They worshipped with such joy and energy, and they never seemed to tire. Renee made the point that we as Americans are so ruled by our stomachs and by our watches. When we get tired or hungry, we tend to tune out the preacher, close our Bible, and reread that church bulletin one more time. These people could worship God for hours. They could study his word for hours, and they do. It was an incredible thing to witness, and one that I hope I won't soon forget.
I feel like this post has the potential to get pretty lengthy so I'm going to try to quickly summarize the next few days. After eating lunch (at 4:30) of matooke and goat soup, we set off on foot with Bernard (He actually pronounces his name Bennett, but his name is actually spelled Bernard. So just read it as Bennett ok? :) Bernard has worked for the Fouts for 10 years, and he has very proudly hosted many visitors in that time period. We were thrilled to get the opportunity to bond with him. He is 57 years old, and so full of life. He is a great guy and we always enjoy getting to see him at the Fouts. He's very good about making us greet him in runyonkore so we were looking forward to the ways he was going to challenge us in the next few days.
We wanted to experience everything with Bernard, so we walked home from church just as he had walked to church that morning. He took us the long way so that we could see the Barere church building. We walked for 2 hours straight that night, finally arriving at his house at 7:30, right as it was getting dark. It was one of the most beautiful walks of my life though, and I really enjoyed it. I was so excited about what we were about to experience that I could have walked a lot longer, I think. Still, I was very excited to finally reach his home and get to meet his family. His wife's name is Midias, and they have 5 children who still live at home. Sylvia is 13, Christine is 7, Dan is probably around 4, Franco is 2ish, and Nicholas is probably around a year old. We were immediately welcomed and made to feel very at home. I can't tell you how many times Bernard told us not to be shy, to be comfortable, and to feel at home. He was a great host.
We enjoyed our second straight meal of matooke and goat soup and then got to bed pretty early that night. There's not a whole lot to do once it gets dark in the village since there is no electricity, so the night's usually ended at around 9. We slept great that night and woke up early the next morning ready to experience a great day. We walked 1/4 mile to get water twice that day, which involved pushing 3 jericans of water in the oldest, most rickety wheelbarrow you've ever seen. I helped wash dishes and saw the Ugandan dishwashing process, which seems to be mostly counterproductive. Des and I chopped onions and sliced tomatoes and helped make the goat soup for dinner. (I've never breathed in so much smoke at one time.) We played with the kids and spent some quiet time with God. We enjoyed using the African version of a toilet. It's called a cho and it's basically just a hole in the ground. We had chai several times, and of course there was more matooke and goat soup...4 meals in a row to be exact.
The hardest part of the trip, the worst part for me, came Monday afternoon. We set off at 11:30 to go visit some people around the village. We walked around, aimlessly it seemed to us, for 2 1/2 hours. I sprained my ankle about a week ago, and it was killing me after walking around so much the day before. It was clear from the beginning that we didn't have a destination. We were just wandering around, stopping at every house we came to. (It kind of reminded me of some dear friends of mine who always struggled in leaving the student center at Harding. Bernard couldn't seem to pass one person without stopping, and he seemed to have a hard time pulling himself away from any conversation. You know who you are, and I love you.) We would all greet each family or person that we ran into, and then Bernard would proceed to have a 10 minute conversation in a language that we understand very little of.
It was during this time that all of this experience started to hit me. The things that I was experiencing weren't hard for me to do. Sure, I didn't really like eating matooke and goat soup at 9:00 in the morning for breakfast, but I could do that. I wasn't a huge fan of having to use a bedpan in the middle of the night instead of a toilet, but I did. I didn't love the lack of things to do in the village, the lack of entertainment that we Americans can't seem to live without, but I was making do. I didn't enjoy walking for miles and miles everyday, but it wasn't impossible. The experience in and of itself wasn't hard, but it became hard when it hit me that this is a reality for these people. I was coming in for a quick trip, 2 days to live their lives. This is their life every single day. They wake up every day, walk to get water so that they can live, and then spend each day doing pretty much the same things. Cooking for the day, cleaning the dishes from the day, wandering around the village greeting neighbors. Walking everywhere. They live their lives with no where to go and nothing really exciting to do. They live their lives without the comforts that we could never imagine going a day without. It just hit me that this is all very much a reality. They've probably never even heard of the internet, but I can't seem to go a day without it. Taking pictures with my digital camera and seeing their face on the screen was so thrilling to them. Having two mzungu girls in their house for a couple of days was one of the most exciting things they've experienced in a long time. It was a hard reality to grasp for me, and it's something I'm still trying to wrap my mind around as I'm sitting here in my comfortable apartment, with my internet running, and my toilet just a room away.
This experience was great, but this experience was also extremely hard. I'm so thankful for Bernard welcoming us into his home to share in his life for a few days, and I would do it again in a second. I saw God a lot in those two days. I saw him in the simplicity of their lives in the village. I saw him in the way that Bernard continually served us, giving us the best food (meat is only served on very special occasions), and giving us a chair while he sat on the floor. I saw God in the way that Midias served her family by cooking food all day long over an open fire in an extremely small, smoky room. I saw the face of God in the faces of these children. I saw the face of God in the people that I met in the village that day. I saw his face in the face of an old, Ugandan woman who could barely walk, yet knelt at my feet to greet me. I saw God's face in the joy in these people's life that certainly does not come from circumstances, but a joy that can only be found in him. It was an incredible experience that I wish everyone could enjoy.
We got back to our apartment at 8:00 Tuesday morning. I was exhausted, dirty, and so ready for the comforts that I had been missing. I wanted nothing more than to take a hot shower and check my email. Well, God had different plans for that day. We got home to find out that our power was off, and it stayed off until 9:00 that night. So instead of spending my day catching up with friends back home, and relishing in the comforts of my life, God continued my bonding experience. What an incredible blessing that was. Instead of filling my day with endless hours on the computer, I filled my day with endless hours with God. I spent a lot of time with him in prayer and in his word. I was able to process my experience a lot and allow him to teach me even after I thought the experience had ended. I'm so thankful for the times that our plans don't turn out the way we want, and God gently reminds us that his plans are always better.
I'm sorry this is so long. It just seems impossible to sum up such a full experience in just a few short paragraphs. I'm going to end with some pictures of my time in the village. There's a bunch more on my website, so make sure to click on one of the pictures below to see the others. I love you guys. Thanks for walking this journey with me.
The mission team here has set up something known as "bonding." It involves being dropped off in a village to live with a family for a few days. An African village basically looks like the picture that we all get when we first think of Africa. Mud huts. No electricity. No running water. No toilets. Extremely primitive. All of the interns that come to work with the Mbarara team go through this, and for the past few months, I've heard about what a great experience it is. So of course, Desarae and I jumped at the opportunity when we heard that we had a week off of school.
Our journey began on Sunday morning by going to a village for church with the Fouts. We went to the church in the village of Kasana, but the congregations from Kishenyi and Barere were also meeting there because it was a goodbye to the Fouts. Church lasted from 11:00 to 4:30. There were 8 different speakers and 8 different sermons, all of which were in runyonkore. It was a long day of sitting on hard wooden benches, being extremely hungry, and not understanding a word of what was said. There was one speaker who would throw in random sentences in English, and that helped to keep me engaged for awhile. At one point he got very serious and said, "Now, I need to speak this from my bottom." It's amazing how much that saying can be changed with you leave off three important words at the end of it. Renee, Des, and I got a serious case of the church giggles at this point. You know, when you're not supposed to be laughing so it makes it even harder to control. Yeah, it was bad.
As I was sitting there feeling hungry, tired, sore, and frustrated that I couldn't understand anything, I was also completely amazed at these people. Many of them had walked an hour or so just to get to church. They hadn't eaten since the morning, if they were lucky enough to get a meal then. They worshipped with such joy and energy, and they never seemed to tire. Renee made the point that we as Americans are so ruled by our stomachs and by our watches. When we get tired or hungry, we tend to tune out the preacher, close our Bible, and reread that church bulletin one more time. These people could worship God for hours. They could study his word for hours, and they do. It was an incredible thing to witness, and one that I hope I won't soon forget.
I feel like this post has the potential to get pretty lengthy so I'm going to try to quickly summarize the next few days. After eating lunch (at 4:30) of matooke and goat soup, we set off on foot with Bernard (He actually pronounces his name Bennett, but his name is actually spelled Bernard. So just read it as Bennett ok? :) Bernard has worked for the Fouts for 10 years, and he has very proudly hosted many visitors in that time period. We were thrilled to get the opportunity to bond with him. He is 57 years old, and so full of life. He is a great guy and we always enjoy getting to see him at the Fouts. He's very good about making us greet him in runyonkore so we were looking forward to the ways he was going to challenge us in the next few days.
We wanted to experience everything with Bernard, so we walked home from church just as he had walked to church that morning. He took us the long way so that we could see the Barere church building. We walked for 2 hours straight that night, finally arriving at his house at 7:30, right as it was getting dark. It was one of the most beautiful walks of my life though, and I really enjoyed it. I was so excited about what we were about to experience that I could have walked a lot longer, I think. Still, I was very excited to finally reach his home and get to meet his family. His wife's name is Midias, and they have 5 children who still live at home. Sylvia is 13, Christine is 7, Dan is probably around 4, Franco is 2ish, and Nicholas is probably around a year old. We were immediately welcomed and made to feel very at home. I can't tell you how many times Bernard told us not to be shy, to be comfortable, and to feel at home. He was a great host.
We enjoyed our second straight meal of matooke and goat soup and then got to bed pretty early that night. There's not a whole lot to do once it gets dark in the village since there is no electricity, so the night's usually ended at around 9. We slept great that night and woke up early the next morning ready to experience a great day. We walked 1/4 mile to get water twice that day, which involved pushing 3 jericans of water in the oldest, most rickety wheelbarrow you've ever seen. I helped wash dishes and saw the Ugandan dishwashing process, which seems to be mostly counterproductive. Des and I chopped onions and sliced tomatoes and helped make the goat soup for dinner. (I've never breathed in so much smoke at one time.) We played with the kids and spent some quiet time with God. We enjoyed using the African version of a toilet. It's called a cho and it's basically just a hole in the ground. We had chai several times, and of course there was more matooke and goat soup...4 meals in a row to be exact.
The hardest part of the trip, the worst part for me, came Monday afternoon. We set off at 11:30 to go visit some people around the village. We walked around, aimlessly it seemed to us, for 2 1/2 hours. I sprained my ankle about a week ago, and it was killing me after walking around so much the day before. It was clear from the beginning that we didn't have a destination. We were just wandering around, stopping at every house we came to. (It kind of reminded me of some dear friends of mine who always struggled in leaving the student center at Harding. Bernard couldn't seem to pass one person without stopping, and he seemed to have a hard time pulling himself away from any conversation. You know who you are, and I love you.) We would all greet each family or person that we ran into, and then Bernard would proceed to have a 10 minute conversation in a language that we understand very little of.
It was during this time that all of this experience started to hit me. The things that I was experiencing weren't hard for me to do. Sure, I didn't really like eating matooke and goat soup at 9:00 in the morning for breakfast, but I could do that. I wasn't a huge fan of having to use a bedpan in the middle of the night instead of a toilet, but I did. I didn't love the lack of things to do in the village, the lack of entertainment that we Americans can't seem to live without, but I was making do. I didn't enjoy walking for miles and miles everyday, but it wasn't impossible. The experience in and of itself wasn't hard, but it became hard when it hit me that this is a reality for these people. I was coming in for a quick trip, 2 days to live their lives. This is their life every single day. They wake up every day, walk to get water so that they can live, and then spend each day doing pretty much the same things. Cooking for the day, cleaning the dishes from the day, wandering around the village greeting neighbors. Walking everywhere. They live their lives with no where to go and nothing really exciting to do. They live their lives without the comforts that we could never imagine going a day without. It just hit me that this is all very much a reality. They've probably never even heard of the internet, but I can't seem to go a day without it. Taking pictures with my digital camera and seeing their face on the screen was so thrilling to them. Having two mzungu girls in their house for a couple of days was one of the most exciting things they've experienced in a long time. It was a hard reality to grasp for me, and it's something I'm still trying to wrap my mind around as I'm sitting here in my comfortable apartment, with my internet running, and my toilet just a room away.
This experience was great, but this experience was also extremely hard. I'm so thankful for Bernard welcoming us into his home to share in his life for a few days, and I would do it again in a second. I saw God a lot in those two days. I saw him in the simplicity of their lives in the village. I saw him in the way that Bernard continually served us, giving us the best food (meat is only served on very special occasions), and giving us a chair while he sat on the floor. I saw God in the way that Midias served her family by cooking food all day long over an open fire in an extremely small, smoky room. I saw the face of God in the faces of these children. I saw the face of God in the people that I met in the village that day. I saw his face in the face of an old, Ugandan woman who could barely walk, yet knelt at my feet to greet me. I saw God's face in the joy in these people's life that certainly does not come from circumstances, but a joy that can only be found in him. It was an incredible experience that I wish everyone could enjoy.
We got back to our apartment at 8:00 Tuesday morning. I was exhausted, dirty, and so ready for the comforts that I had been missing. I wanted nothing more than to take a hot shower and check my email. Well, God had different plans for that day. We got home to find out that our power was off, and it stayed off until 9:00 that night. So instead of spending my day catching up with friends back home, and relishing in the comforts of my life, God continued my bonding experience. What an incredible blessing that was. Instead of filling my day with endless hours on the computer, I filled my day with endless hours with God. I spent a lot of time with him in prayer and in his word. I was able to process my experience a lot and allow him to teach me even after I thought the experience had ended. I'm so thankful for the times that our plans don't turn out the way we want, and God gently reminds us that his plans are always better.
I'm sorry this is so long. It just seems impossible to sum up such a full experience in just a few short paragraphs. I'm going to end with some pictures of my time in the village. There's a bunch more on my website, so make sure to click on one of the pictures below to see the others. I love you guys. Thanks for walking this journey with me.
Friday, August 3, 2007
Wandering in the wilderness
I think I've been getting more out of our Bible lessons in school the past few weeks than my kids have. We're studying Hebrews 11, and we're calling it our "Faith Hall of Fame" study. (I figured that was one way to get the attention of my kids, since 3 out of my 4 students are sports-crazed boys.) It's been really great for me to take a closer look at some of those Old Testament stories that we've all heard a hundred times before. That's one of my favorite things about teaching...the fact that I get to learn things again and that they stick so much better now that I'm the one teaching rather than the one learning. So last week we talked a little bit about Moses and the Israelites wandering in the wilderness after God led them out of Egypt and out of captivity. We had talked about the great faith of Moses with the burning bush and with the 10 plagues the week before and last week was more of an example of what faith sometimes looks like when it wavers. It hit me in a completely new way just how much I am like the Israelites in my unsteady, ever-changing, always failing faith.
When I was reading the story to my kids, they couldn't believe, almost as much as I couldn't believe, how much the Israelites doubted God even though he continually met all their needs and gave them everything they could ever need. I was reading it thinking to myself, "This is incredible. These people are so stupid." The Israelites needed to be free so God sends ten plagues. They need to cross a sea so God holds back the powerful water for them. They are hungry so God sends them manna every morning. Water, how about out of a rock? I read these stories and I question how they could ever doubt God's faithfulness. I wonder how they could ever worry about being taken care of, when God mets their needs perfectly. I question why the time in the wilderness was not more a time of growth than it was. Why did they still doubt? Where was their faith? God gently and quietly humbled me throughout this very self-righteous, judgmental time, by revealing to me that I am no better than those Israelites. In fact, my faith is much weaker.
God does the same things in my life. He meets my needs daily. Sure it's not always in a can't believe your eyes, drop your jaw sort of way, but it is no less miraculous or amazing than it was with the Israelites. God has never once let me down. I let him down daily, but He picks me back up without hesitation. Gods knows my heart and He knows my needs better than I could ever express them. Why then do I still doubt his sovereignty and his supreme timing? I'm not sure, but God taught me a cool lesson about his timing this week.
I'm doing a Beth Moore study right now, and it's challenging me daily. It's on the fruit of the spirit, and this week it has concentrated on peace. All week, I've concentrated on praying for peace in several different areas of my life. I've been praying for the peace that only God can give, "which exceeds anything we can understand." I deeply desire His peace that, "will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." That has been the focus of my heart this week. There were several days where I prayed this prayer non-stop throughout the day. It was at the forefront of my mind. Yet the more I prayed for peace, the less peaceful I felt. The more I asked for God's help in the hard situations, the more turmoil I felt inside of me. But then God did something pretty amazing. At the moment when I needed his peace the most, He washed it over me. My heart was guarded and my mind was full of peace. Amidst the storm, I felt calm. It was even cooler because it was a sense of peace that I can take no credit for. This was something that I know only comes from God.
Maybe, just maybe, there is more to be said of these times of wilderness wandering that we experience. Maybe it's in those times, the times when we desperately seek God, yet can't seem to find him, that we grow the most. Maybe God is changing our heart the most in the times we can't feel it. Maybe I'm way off on all of this. I guess this week I've just been convicted again, for the one thousandth time, that God's way is always the best. His ways are higher than our ways in the big areas of our life, and even in the small ones. I prayed for peace all week. God gave it to me at just the right moment, when He knew I needed it the most. I'm just thankful that despite my unfaithfulness, God never fails.
And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19
When I was reading the story to my kids, they couldn't believe, almost as much as I couldn't believe, how much the Israelites doubted God even though he continually met all their needs and gave them everything they could ever need. I was reading it thinking to myself, "This is incredible. These people are so stupid." The Israelites needed to be free so God sends ten plagues. They need to cross a sea so God holds back the powerful water for them. They are hungry so God sends them manna every morning. Water, how about out of a rock? I read these stories and I question how they could ever doubt God's faithfulness. I wonder how they could ever worry about being taken care of, when God mets their needs perfectly. I question why the time in the wilderness was not more a time of growth than it was. Why did they still doubt? Where was their faith? God gently and quietly humbled me throughout this very self-righteous, judgmental time, by revealing to me that I am no better than those Israelites. In fact, my faith is much weaker.
God does the same things in my life. He meets my needs daily. Sure it's not always in a can't believe your eyes, drop your jaw sort of way, but it is no less miraculous or amazing than it was with the Israelites. God has never once let me down. I let him down daily, but He picks me back up without hesitation. Gods knows my heart and He knows my needs better than I could ever express them. Why then do I still doubt his sovereignty and his supreme timing? I'm not sure, but God taught me a cool lesson about his timing this week.
I'm doing a Beth Moore study right now, and it's challenging me daily. It's on the fruit of the spirit, and this week it has concentrated on peace. All week, I've concentrated on praying for peace in several different areas of my life. I've been praying for the peace that only God can give, "which exceeds anything we can understand." I deeply desire His peace that, "will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." That has been the focus of my heart this week. There were several days where I prayed this prayer non-stop throughout the day. It was at the forefront of my mind. Yet the more I prayed for peace, the less peaceful I felt. The more I asked for God's help in the hard situations, the more turmoil I felt inside of me. But then God did something pretty amazing. At the moment when I needed his peace the most, He washed it over me. My heart was guarded and my mind was full of peace. Amidst the storm, I felt calm. It was even cooler because it was a sense of peace that I can take no credit for. This was something that I know only comes from God.
Maybe, just maybe, there is more to be said of these times of wilderness wandering that we experience. Maybe it's in those times, the times when we desperately seek God, yet can't seem to find him, that we grow the most. Maybe God is changing our heart the most in the times we can't feel it. Maybe I'm way off on all of this. I guess this week I've just been convicted again, for the one thousandth time, that God's way is always the best. His ways are higher than our ways in the big areas of our life, and even in the small ones. I prayed for peace all week. God gave it to me at just the right moment, when He knew I needed it the most. I'm just thankful that despite my unfaithfulness, God never fails.
And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Time flies
As I wrote the date on the board in school today, I couldn't believe that it's the last day of July. It is so hard to believe that I've already been here in Uganda for almost two months. At the same time, so much has happened in the short time that I've been here that it seems like I've been here forever. Mbarara feels so comfortable to me, and I'm continuing to feel at home here. These first few months have been full of so many blessings, especially this last month. So this post will kind of serve as an update on the month of July by way of pictures.
We had a 4th of July party, Ugandan style. Most of the kids had never seen sparklers before so that was a fun thing to watch. Here is Tripp enjoying loving the USA.
The Harding interns got here on July 3rd and left yesterday. It was awesome to have our friends here for almost a month. Here we are eating at one of the most western restaurants in town, the Agip Motel and also in front of our hotel in Jinja right before we said goodbye.
D-rae and I spent a weekend in Kampala (the capital) by ourselves and I found an awesome coffee shop. I was in heaven!
I went on a safari to Queen Elizabeth National Park when my friend Wes came to visit. It was awesome to see so many cool animals.
Wes even helped me teach school for two days, and the kids loved it.
I try to get my fix with these girls when I'm missing my nieces. On the left is Ansley Glisson and Avery Fouts is on the right.
I think that about covers all the highlights. Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of my adventure on the Nile yet, but don't worry, I'll post them as soon as I get them. Thank you so much to all of you who keep up with what's going on with me. I can't tell you what that means to me to get your emails and encouragement even as I'm so far away. Continue to pray for the work over here, especially as we are getting ready to undergo some major transitions. The Fouts will be moving back to America at the end of September, which will be a very tough time for us. Our role will then change a little as we'll take on some new ministries in addition to still working with the team kids. I'm excited and anxious about the future all at the same time, but I know that God is in control through it all. His ways are so much higher than mine, and I'm grateful that my life is in his hands.
We had a 4th of July party, Ugandan style. Most of the kids had never seen sparklers before so that was a fun thing to watch. Here is Tripp enjoying loving the USA.
The Harding interns got here on July 3rd and left yesterday. It was awesome to have our friends here for almost a month. Here we are eating at one of the most western restaurants in town, the Agip Motel and also in front of our hotel in Jinja right before we said goodbye.
D-rae and I spent a weekend in Kampala (the capital) by ourselves and I found an awesome coffee shop. I was in heaven!
I went on a safari to Queen Elizabeth National Park when my friend Wes came to visit. It was awesome to see so many cool animals.
Wes even helped me teach school for two days, and the kids loved it.
I try to get my fix with these girls when I'm missing my nieces. On the left is Ansley Glisson and Avery Fouts is on the right.
I think that about covers all the highlights. Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of my adventure on the Nile yet, but don't worry, I'll post them as soon as I get them. Thank you so much to all of you who keep up with what's going on with me. I can't tell you what that means to me to get your emails and encouragement even as I'm so far away. Continue to pray for the work over here, especially as we are getting ready to undergo some major transitions. The Fouts will be moving back to America at the end of September, which will be a very tough time for us. Our role will then change a little as we'll take on some new ministries in addition to still working with the team kids. I'm excited and anxious about the future all at the same time, but I know that God is in control through it all. His ways are so much higher than mine, and I'm grateful that my life is in his hands.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Ask and Receive
I can remember a lot of things from my childhood. I remember certain holidays, birthdays, vacations...all the big things. But just as much as I remember the big, fun, exciting things, I also remember some of the small, tough things, such as the rules that my parents had. One of the rules that really stuck with me was the one about asking if a particular friend could come over and play, right in front of that friend. In my family, asking Mom and Dad if Suzie could come over and play, while Suzie was standing there and it was hard for Mom and Dad to say no....yeah, that was always a dumb decision because the answer was automatically no. But no matter how many times I fell into the trap of that rule, I kept on asking right in front of my friends. It was almost as if I was so excited to ask permission that I simply couldn't wait to ask until I was alone with just my parents. Stubborn kid + well-enforced rule=lots of tearful Sundays without a friend coming over to play
I grew up, and I would venture to say most of us did, in a home where ask was not always synonymous with receive. I knew that asking for a Milky Way while we were checking out at Wal-Mart most certainly meant that I would not get it. Those were only for when we were good, right Mom? :) I also knew that asking for a certain toy while shopping would also mean I wouldn't automatically just get it. My parents did an awesome job of teaching us that we don't always get everything that we ask for. Now before you feel sorry for me, know that my parents threw the best birthday parties and Christmas mornings of anyone I know. They just taught us the difference between getting everything we want and being thankful for the things we have. I'm so thankful for them and for the way that they stuck to the rules, even when it took stubborn little Betsy awhile to catch on.
I got away today and spent some alone time. You might think that living in Uganda, apart from most everyone I know, would create quite a bit of alone time. But the mission team has done such a great job of welcoming us here that D-rae and I actually have to intentionally take time to ourselves, which I think is a pretty awesome problem to have. I spent some time writing in my journal and processing a lot of thoughts and emotions that I've been going through. It felt so good to just spend time with God, talking to him, questioning him, but ultimately, meeting him.
God convicted me of several things today. The one that is sticking with me the most is that I simply don't pray expecting that he will answer me. I really like the way that Matthew 7:7 reads in my New Living Translation Bible. Keep on asking and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking and you will find. Keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you. How many times have I read this verse without really reading it? God promises here that asking=receiving, seeking=finding, and knocking=an opened door. Do we really believe that? Better yet, do I really believe that? Do I pray about things to God expecting that He is going to answer me?
The more I walk this journey with God, the more that I think I can answer yes to that question, but definitely not all the time, or even a majority of the time. But even when I do pray expecting God to show up and answer, I usually pray with an agenda. What I mean by that is that I pray for something and then secretly wait for God to answer it just exactly as I have planned for it to go. When he doesn't, I get upset, lose faith, and stop expecting big things. I realize as I'm typing this that none of this is new, earth-shattering conclusions. It's not even really that wise. It's just something that hit me in a new way today and I wanted to write about it.
All my life, I've heard people say, "Be careful what you wish for." But what I think is just as true is "Be careful what you pray for." God promises us that if we ask we will receive. He doesn't say we will receive just exactly as we have planned. But he does say that we will receive. I have prayed for God to stretch me and mold me into the person that he truly wants me to be a lot in the past month. I have prayed that I will truly be satisfied in only Him. I had a picture in my mind of what that would look like. You know, it was painfree and happened practically overnight. It was the easy way. Well, let me just say that God had something quite different in mind. He had joy, freedom, and grace. But he also had trials, struggles, pain, and hurt. God is God and He knows just what we need in life. He knows that I am stubborn and he knows that sometimes it takes big things to get my attention.
So often I pray about something big and something that I deeply desire, but I might not desire the way in which God chooses to answer. Is that truly praying with faith? I've been convicted today that to truly pray with faith is to accept any answer that God gives. It is to accept the obscure answers that we don't understand and the painful ones that break our hearts. It is to accept the good with the bad and the bad with the good. To truly trust God means that we will ask humbly and accept willingly. I pray that God will truly give me that kind of faith, whatever it might take.
I grew up, and I would venture to say most of us did, in a home where ask was not always synonymous with receive. I knew that asking for a Milky Way while we were checking out at Wal-Mart most certainly meant that I would not get it. Those were only for when we were good, right Mom? :) I also knew that asking for a certain toy while shopping would also mean I wouldn't automatically just get it. My parents did an awesome job of teaching us that we don't always get everything that we ask for. Now before you feel sorry for me, know that my parents threw the best birthday parties and Christmas mornings of anyone I know. They just taught us the difference between getting everything we want and being thankful for the things we have. I'm so thankful for them and for the way that they stuck to the rules, even when it took stubborn little Betsy awhile to catch on.
I got away today and spent some alone time. You might think that living in Uganda, apart from most everyone I know, would create quite a bit of alone time. But the mission team has done such a great job of welcoming us here that D-rae and I actually have to intentionally take time to ourselves, which I think is a pretty awesome problem to have. I spent some time writing in my journal and processing a lot of thoughts and emotions that I've been going through. It felt so good to just spend time with God, talking to him, questioning him, but ultimately, meeting him.
God convicted me of several things today. The one that is sticking with me the most is that I simply don't pray expecting that he will answer me. I really like the way that Matthew 7:7 reads in my New Living Translation Bible. Keep on asking and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking and you will find. Keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you. How many times have I read this verse without really reading it? God promises here that asking=receiving, seeking=finding, and knocking=an opened door. Do we really believe that? Better yet, do I really believe that? Do I pray about things to God expecting that He is going to answer me?
The more I walk this journey with God, the more that I think I can answer yes to that question, but definitely not all the time, or even a majority of the time. But even when I do pray expecting God to show up and answer, I usually pray with an agenda. What I mean by that is that I pray for something and then secretly wait for God to answer it just exactly as I have planned for it to go. When he doesn't, I get upset, lose faith, and stop expecting big things. I realize as I'm typing this that none of this is new, earth-shattering conclusions. It's not even really that wise. It's just something that hit me in a new way today and I wanted to write about it.
All my life, I've heard people say, "Be careful what you wish for." But what I think is just as true is "Be careful what you pray for." God promises us that if we ask we will receive. He doesn't say we will receive just exactly as we have planned. But he does say that we will receive. I have prayed for God to stretch me and mold me into the person that he truly wants me to be a lot in the past month. I have prayed that I will truly be satisfied in only Him. I had a picture in my mind of what that would look like. You know, it was painfree and happened practically overnight. It was the easy way. Well, let me just say that God had something quite different in mind. He had joy, freedom, and grace. But he also had trials, struggles, pain, and hurt. God is God and He knows just what we need in life. He knows that I am stubborn and he knows that sometimes it takes big things to get my attention.
So often I pray about something big and something that I deeply desire, but I might not desire the way in which God chooses to answer. Is that truly praying with faith? I've been convicted today that to truly pray with faith is to accept any answer that God gives. It is to accept the obscure answers that we don't understand and the painful ones that break our hearts. It is to accept the good with the bad and the bad with the good. To truly trust God means that we will ask humbly and accept willingly. I pray that God will truly give me that kind of faith, whatever it might take.
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