God S.T.O.P.

My mom and Dave got me the Beth Moore "Believing God" Bible study for Christmas, and let me just say that it is already rockin' my world. I just started it on Monday, and it's challenging my thinking and my faith so much in just a few short days. One of my favorite parts about the study is that it is designed for you to do part of it first thing in the morning, and then finish it right before you go to bed. This has really helped me to focus my thoughts all day long. The part that you do before bed is called a God S.T.O.P. This stands for moments in the day when you were able to Savor The Observable Presence of God. It's designed to make you more aware of the times that God answers prayers or reveals his presence to us in small or big ways throughout the day. It's been really good for me lately to be looking for those times from God, and it's made me more thankful for just how active he is in my life. I wanted to share a couple God S.T.O.P's from my day today. The first one is kind of a long story, but stick with me. I think it will be worth it for the goosebumps that it will give you at the end.

So when Jessica was here we spent a day in our friend Trueman's village. Trueman's only male goat had been stolen the day before, and Trueman was pretty upset about it. We even spent some time driving around the village looking for it. When Jessica was leaving last Friday, she gave me some money to give to Trueman to help him buy another goat. I called Trueman on Monday to let him know and low and behold, he had found his goat. So I sent Jess an email and let her know that need was taken care of, and let her know of some other needs that we could possibly use that money for. She emailed me back just this morning to tell me to use the money wherever I saw fit.

Fast forward to this afternoon. We had a meeting with some of the youth from church, and afterwards our friend Nicholas (whose village we also visited with Jessica) asked us if he could talk to us. Now when people here ask if they can talk to you and kind of make it secretive while pulling you off to the side, that usually means they are going to be asking for money, so we saw this coming. Nicholas told us that his mom had given him some money for school fees the other day and when he was in town he had lost his wallet. He had begged another man at church for some money, but he could only cover some of it. Nicholas' mom was really upset at him for losing this money, and Nicholas was obviously upset as well.

Goosebumps spread all over my body when Nicholas told us that the amount of money that he had lost and still needed was the exact amount of money that I had in my wallet from Jessica for a special need that might arise. Nicholas was asking for a loan, but thank God that I was able to reach into my wallet, pull out the money, and give it to him as a gift that he doesn't have to repay. I explained the situation and explained that God was obviously at work here. It was even more special that Jessica was able to fill that need as Nicholas was one who opened his home to her while she was here. God is awesome, and I'm thankful for this time to savor his sweet presence today.

We came home from our youth meeting to find Gigi, our worker, hard at work in the kitchen, and our friend Florence there as well. Florence is the Gage's worker, but since they're in America, she has some extra time on her hands so she was helping Gigi with her work today. Now Gigi and Florence are both in their fifties, and they're two of the funniest people I've ever met. Put them in a room together and all you do is laugh. Florence is hilarious and still claims that she is 14 years old. Gigi calls her a liar whenever she says that. Here's an example of how hilarious they are. We gave Gigi a loaf of banana bread that we made last night and told her to share some with Florence. To this Florence responded, "Oh she will. Don't worry. If she doesn't, I will take her outside and finish her off, and then I'll finish off the bread." Yes, hilarious.

We hung out with them for about two hours, long after they were finished cooking. They talked about how they're going to miss us when we're gone, and Gigi kept talking about how she prays for God to send us good men to be our husbands (I think she's a tad concerned about our singleness :) I busted out some of my Starbuck's for them and introduced them to my favorite coffee. I think Florence's response to it was, "Oh it is very very very very fine," and of course I enjoyed sharing coffee with someone for once since D-rae hates it. We shared funny stories, and I laughed until I was crying. Then I sat there and felt God's spirit in the room and fought back tears of thankfulness for the life I'm living right now and the ways that God shows himself to me daily. I'm so thankful that we have a God who is so big and so mighty, yet small enough to make himself known to his children. The cool thing is that there are several more moments just like these that I could tell you about just from today. God is always there, but sometimes we don't take the time to look for him. I pray that today you have some God S.T.O.P's of your own. Stop and savor the observable presence.

Thoughts of Believers

I woke up today and realized that it's January 19th. How in the world did that happen? Somewhere between all the visitors, all the traveling, and all the busyness, the downward slope to the end of my time here in Uganda began. It seems like just yesterday we realized we were at the halfway point. Now it's down to three and a half months left in Mbarara, my second home. D-rae keeps telling me that I've got to stop mentioning the small amount of time we've got left because it's harder for her to live in the present here when I keep talking about the future. But for me it's just opposite. It's like everyday I have to remind myself that my time here is quickly coming to an end, so that I can remember to soak up every second of the present.

With the end in sight, it's getting to be time to start thinking about what my life after Uganda will look like. I've done my best not to think about it until now because I didn't want thoughts of the future to consume my thoughts while I'm living such a once in a lifetime experience right now. But I figure it's time to start considering options and seeing where God will take me next. This is a daunting task in many ways. It's scary to think about applying for jobs, paying bills, and being on my own for the first time. It makes me anxious to think about making big decisions such as where I'll move and where I'll start my new life. Rereading that kind of make me laugh and I'm sure many of you are confused right now wondering how much more on my own I could be than right now, living halfway around the world, away from everyone I love and everything I've ever known. The funny thing is that it's scarier to me to move somewhere in America on my own than it was for me to come to Uganda. Weird, I know.

I was reading Matthew 6, which has always been a favorite chapter of mine, the other day and something hit me for the first time. The section about worrying has been one that I've read hundreds of times in my life. I tend to worry about a lot of things, and I usually go to this passage when I need to be encouraged to trust God instead of myself. It hit me in a new way the other day. I love it when that happens. I'm convinced that this is one of the ways that God speaks to his children today...through scriptures that we've read time and time again, but for some reason we read them in a different way just this one time.

In verse 31, Jesus is reminding his disciples not to worry about everyday needs like what they will eat or what they will drink. I love the way that the beginning of verse 32 reads. These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers... Worrying about our life, our needs, our future, those are things that are characteristic of people who don't know God. Worry is a part of life for people who don't have faith in a God who takes care of his children. Jesus goes on in verse 32 to say, BUT your Heavenly Father already knows all your needs. The word 'but' signifies that there is to be a difference for those of us who claim to follow Jesus. "Worry dominates the thoughts of unbelievers, but you who believe in me are called to be different. Those who don't know me worry about everything, but you can trust that I will take care of you. Life is full of unexpected turns and many are anxious about the future, but trust in me because I know ALL of your needs." This is what I claim to believe and this is what I hear God whispering to me daily, but still I worry, and at times I still live like one who doesn't know God. Worry dominates my thoughts many times just like it dominates the thoughts of those who don't believe in God at all.

I've always read Matthew 6 and realized that it's not good to worry. But now I'm reading Matthew 6 and realizing how bad it is to worry. When I worry, I'm not having faith in a God that I profess to believe in. When I worry, I'm once again trying to take control of my life back from the only one who is truly in control. When I worry, my faith is in myself rather than in my God.

Worrying is something that is easy for me to do and hard for me to stop, but I'm choosing to fight the anxieties this time around. I'm choosing to daily surrender the future to God and wait patiently for him to open the doors that need to be opened. I trust my life in his hands completely, and I don't trust it in my hands one bit. He is in control and he knows all of my needs. I read a dear friend's blog today and was reminded once again of the fact that God is in control. The plans for my future are not mine, but they are his. God planned for me to come to Uganda and he made that 100% clear to me. I felt called and led here, and I have no doubt that is preparing a place for me and preparing me for the place that he will take me next.

Back to Normalcy

The past month has been incredibly busy and incredibly wonderful. It started with Mom and Dave coming for a week and a half right around Christmas. Even though their trip was cut short because of all the canceled flights, we packed everything into the time they had here, and it was great. We took them to several villages, and I was so proud of the way that they handled the uncomfortable and different experiences. Neither of them were just huge fans of the food, but they ate it like a champ 4 different times. We also went on a safari and saw all the major animals that you can see at Queen Elizabeth. I don't have time to tell all the funny stories from that day but a few include my mom getting dangerously close to both a lion and a hippo and communicating to some of the elephants in a language that only she knows. It was a great day and we laughed a ton.

Mom and Dave also got to experience a float trip through grade 1 and 2 rapids on the Nile River. They were both a little nervous, and we couldn't convince them to get in and swim with us, but overall they were tough. We also ate dinner overlooking the Nile and watched a beautiful sunset. Even though they were only here for a short time, they got to see so many different parts of Uganda. God blessed us with safe travels (which is a miracle if you ask them) and he took care of us when Uganda was experiencing a serious fuel crisis. God is so good to his children.

I loved sharing my home here with them, but my favorite part of having them here was definitely getting to share Christmas with them, even if it was a little late. And no I'm not talking about the gifts that they brought from many of you (Thank you SO much by the way. You guys helped to make us feel very loved!). I'm talking about sharing our experience of giving gifts and having a Christmas party with our Ugandan friends. They got to see the joy on our friends' faces when we gave them their gifts. I know that God showed Mom and Dave a lot through this trip, and I think much of it came through experiencing the joy that our friends have despite the hard things that they deal with on a daily basis.

Two days after Mom and Dave left, my lifelong friend Jessica Sloan came to visit. I've known her since I was about 8 when we met at church camp. She is one of those old friends who knows everything about me and loves me anyways. I was SO excited to have her here and be able to share Uganda with her. While she was here we went to 2 villages, went on yet another safari, and spent a few days with our other church camp friend Jody in Jinja. It was so good to see her and share our lives together for a few weeks in person rather than through email. I'm so thankful for a friend who is willing to make the trip all the way to Uganda to share in my life in this way. I am so blessed to have her in my life. God really blessed our time together, and he continues to teach us more about life in him.

After this busy month, I could not be more thankful or more tired. It was such a huge blessing to have people that I love come spend time with me here in Mbarara. It's great to know that when I go back to the states, at least three people, four including Desarae, will be able to understand more about this place because they have spent time here. That is a huge gift that I am so grateful for. Now it's back to normal life here in Mbarara. We start teaching on Tuesday after a month off, and all of our friends come back from holiday in about a week. So the hostel won't be empty for much longer, and we're so excited to start our weekly bible studies up again. Right now we're enjoying a few days of rest and a long time without traveling anywhere! I'm so thankful for a home here in Mbarara that feels so much like home to me. It's great to be home, and it's great to have so many wonderful memories from the last month.