Turn to the Cross

Rather than condemning ourselves for our weakness and making self-conscious efforts to try harder, we can allow the Crucified to love us in our brokenness.
- Brennan Manning "The Signature of Jesus"

Desarae was in charge of Bible study tonight, and let me just say that she brought it. I felt like God was speaking through her straight to my heart in such a way that I wanted to share tonight with all of you. Much of this blog comes from things she said or things that it made me think of while she was speaking and God was pricking my heart. I can't even begin to put into words how thankful I am for her friendship, and tonight was just a reminder of the many ways that God has used her to teach me in the past nine months. She is a great friend, who points me to the cross everyday, and tonight was no different.

I remember one of my first posts, about a year ago, was concerning the gift of grace that God gives us. It's one of those topics that I can't seem to get my mind fully around, and it's one that God is continually having to pursue me and change my thinking on. I tend to be overly organized to the point of it being slightly obsessive and compulsive. I plan everything....everything. I do the things I need to do to get the results that I desire. It's that simple, or at least I so often foolishly believe. I think that's what makes grace so difficult for me to grasp. It is a free gift that I have done nothing to deserve. Nothing I do will make God love me more and nothing I can do will make me love Him less. His love is unchanging and never failing, and His grace is no different.

In a taped sermon that Des and I listened to the other day, we learned that the words "gift" and "grace"come from the same Greek word of "charis." I think that's so cool. You can't separate the idea of grace being a free gift. That is just what it is. No matter how complicated we make grace, we can know that to God it is so simple.

Desarae focused on talking about repentance tonight, and her first question was just defining what exactly it means to repent? Growing up I was always taught that it means "to turn away" from the sin in your life. I think that's true, but somewhere along the way, I think we've forgotten to learn what it is that we're turning to.

In Numbers 21, we read kind of an interesting story about Moses and the Israelites. Snakes come into the Israelite camp and Moses instructs those who are bitten to simply look at this bronze snake and they will be healed. Many of those people no doubt thought Moses was crazy and didn't trust that it would work so they didn't try. Others maybe doubted the potency of the snake's poison and didn't think it was serious enough to pay attention to. Still others were so freaked out by the snake bite that they were running around like chickens with their heads cut off, frantically trying everything except for the one thing that would actually heal. Then of course there were some who just sat and cried about their pain and trouble without taking any steps towards healing.

Isn't this how we are with the sin in our life and the grace that God offers? John 3:14 compares the way that Moses raised up the bronze snake for healing to the way that Jesus was lifted up on the cross for our healing. But too often we don't trust that his grace is enough. Or perhaps we don't think the sin in our life is serious enough to pay attention to. Then some of us are so freaked out by all the sin that we try every counselor and read every self-help book before looking to the one true healer. Then there are those of us, and I think this is where I all too often fall, that are so distraught and guilt-ridden over their sins that they can't even bear to lift their tear-filled eyes to the cross.

When we repent and turn away from sin in our life, the only place to turn for true healing and change is the cross. I love the quote at the top of the page. Instead of beating ourselves up over and over again and letting the guilt get the best of us, why don't we let Jesus do what he does best? God sent Jesus to earth to save us while we were still sinners, and Jesus saves us again and again everyday...while we are still sinning. God's plan is not for us to figure out the plan to stop sinning on our own, and then turn to the cross. His plan is for us to turn to the cross and then allow him to work in our life giving us the power to live a life that is led by the Spirit, rather than our sinful nature. Too often as humans we do it all backwards. We try to get our life in order before we turn back to God, rather than turning back to God and allowing the only one who is capable to put our life back in order.

I've learned this year that there is so much that I desire to change in my life, or things that I want to be different, that I am simply not capable of doing on my own. A discouraging thought until I read verses like Ephesians 3:20, that remind me that God's power within me will accomplish more than I could ever dream of. Thank God for His grace that He gives daily. Thank God for loving us in our brokenness and not requiring a perfect heart, but simply one that is contrite. Thank God for giving us His son, the true healer and the only one to turn to when we are turning away from the sin in our life. Thank God for His power that enables us to defeat our sinful nature and live by the Spirit. Thank God for the Crucified.