The Simplicity of Grace

I had a conversation with a friend tonight. A friend who I am convinced is one of the best and very dearest friends that God could ever bless me with. I'm so thankful for the way she shapes and refines me and tonight was no different.

We decided to be real with each other tonight. I know that might sound silly for me to say about such a close friend, but it's so easy to wear masks even with the ones that know us the best. I hate that about relationships. I hate that we tend to cover up things from the ones that would love us no matter what we uncovered, and in fact, probably love us even more. So anyways, we were talking about life and the things we struggle with. She said some things that I've been feeling lately, and she said some things that hit me hard. I apologize ahead of time if this gets long...I've got a lot to say tonight

Don't you hate it when you feel so far from God that you can't even remember how to get back to Him? I've felt that way so many times in my life. I hate the roller coaster of faith that I sometimes live, and I hate that I'm so inconsistent. I love the mountain top experiences, but I hate the valleys in between. I hate being in the valley, wondering how I fell from my high, but being unable to remember how to get back there. I felt this way towards the end of last semester. Life was busy and out of control and I just felt lost. I felt so far from God. I wasn't praying, I wasn't reading my Bible, and I was lost. Deep down, I knew that all I had to do was just whisper to God that I was ready to come home. That's it. It's that simple. But it always takes me so long to realize that. So often when I reach these points in my life, I tend to believe that I've got to have this eloquent, well-thought out, well-written prayer in order to get back in the good graces of God. What a lie that Satan has led me to believe! I hate that I, and I think many Christians today, tend to make grace such a complicated issue. Grace is amazing, but it's not meant to be so complex. I believe that when we get down to the heart of the gospel, it's meant to be something so simple. Jesus' blood saves us...end of story. All God asks is that we seek Him. He doesn't ask us to have it all together, all the time. He doesn't ask us to have the right words when we've failed or the right prayer asking for forgiveness. He just asks us to be his, even when we're not sure where to start. I am so thankful for that. I am thankful that He is a God who is willing to meet us right where we're at.

I opened up Itunes to listen to some music after I finished talking with my friend, and for those of you who know me well, you know that one of my little quirks is listening to my music on random. So I hit the shuffle button, skipped through some random Destiny's Child and N'Sync from my high school days, and the first song that appealed to me was Hallelujah, Your love is Amazing by Phillips, Craig, and Dean. This is what I heard....

Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging.
Your love is a mountain firm beneath my feet.
Your love is a mystery of how you gently lift me,
When I am surrounded your love carries me.

Instead of getting so caught up in the roller coaster that we sometimes call faith, why don't we just try to consistently grow. God's love and his grace are a mystery to me, but maybe that's ok. Just maybe it's ok that I don't completely understand this grace thing. All I know is that it's amazing, and I want to let it be simple. I'm sick of living from mountain top experience to mountain top experience. I'm ready to just seek Him every day, and let him be the mountain firm beneath my feet.